Will It Be Me?
by Megan Faye
Summary: Maureen has lost Angel, Collins, Roger, and Mimi to AIDS, Joanne to leukimia, and Mark to a bike accident. When she meets the new love of her life, a Christian Broadway-wanna-be from Oklahoma, she has to learn how to not be alone.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

* * *

December 30, 2002

Maureen Johnson shivered against the wind and ducked into the hole-in-the-wall bar. She wasn't anywhere near her apartment building, or Avenue A for that matter. It didn't matter, though. No one was left. She wanted a drink.

The bar wasn't as crowded as others she'd been to in nights before. Not that she was a heavy drinker by any means; she just needed a drink tonight. She needed a drink where no one would recognize and pity her. She needed a drink where no one would put a hand on her shoulder and tell them how sorry they were, even though its been years.

What she wanted was to be ignored.

"O K U!" shouted a high-pitched voice. Maureen frowned at the "fun-sized" blond cheering at the screen.

Maureen looked at the short woman. She remembered seeing her at group grief counselling meetings that Maureen used to go to. Her name escaped Maureen for the moment as she took in the bar she'd stepped into.

"Sports bars," she muttered. Maureen slipped carefully onto a stool. "Something strong, and something right-_fucking_-now."

"Hang on a tick-tock, O Tall One," her perkiness said, climbing onto the stool next to her. Maureen sized her up; at most, she was 4 feet 11 inches tall, and was sitting on her knees on the stool. She was cute; long blond hair, tight jeans. The Oklahoma sweat shirt was a little much. "Bad day or not, we keep the ratings PG in Okies." Maureen noticed she wore a cross. She had to grin at the irony of a Bible-beater in a bar.

"Piss off, Betty Bible-Beater, I've had a day that would drive Jesus to drink." The blond gasped. Maureen sighed. She'd gone too far. Mark would have given her a pitiful look that would have told her to rein it in a step. Joanne would have frowned. She looked into the little blue eyes. This woman was just trying to be kind. "Its either drink, or jump of a bridge tonight, lady," she warned in a near-whisper, tears welling up. She mentally cursed at the lump forming in her throat.

"Can't be all that bad, now-"

"Let's see, New Years 1989, I had six very close friends; Angel, Mark, Collins, Roger, Mimi, and my lesbian lover, Joanne. After Angel died in October of 1990, Joanne I had managed to patch things up. But it didn't last long; Joanne died of Leukimia in '92. Roger and Mimi died of AIDS in 1996, only 5 months apart. Collins died in 1997. And I lost Mark in 2000; a truck made an illegal right turn, and hit him on his bike. Four of my six best friends died of AIDS, one from cancer, the other, a garbage truck. I just went tonight, the night before New Year's Eve, and put flowers on every grave. I am not even 35 years old and _everyone _I have _ever _loved is dead. I. Need. A. God. Damned. Drink." The bubbly blonde was tearing up.

"I am so sorry." And there it was; the sympathy she was longing to avoid. The bar-tender placed the drink on the counter. Maureen lifted the drink, but the tiny hand pushed it back down. "Before you drink, maybe we should take a walk. You don't really want that drink."

"Its 3 degrees outside, and I want it. Trust me; I want it."

"No, you don't. You just don't want to hurt."

"No. I don't want to hurt, but I do want to feel." The short woman slid off the stool and took the Maureen's hand.

"Put it on my tab," she said, pushing the drink back to the bar tender. "Come back to my place."

* * *

Maureen didn't question her when she was dragged back to the apartment; to be alone or not alone went through her head for less than a second and she followed. Not alone was far better than alone.

"Nice place."

"I know its small, but I like it. Its bigger than the nook I lived in before. I could cook while I bathed." Maureen let herself half-smile. "My boss, Tommy, gave me a nice raise, but only if I agreed to move into a nicer place. He wanted me to be safe."

"Nice boss. Joanne was like that; always worried about my safety." Maureen sat on the couch, wondering why she went back to this apartment with a stranger. Joanne would have pitched a temper tantrum about muggers, rapests, hand guns, and 15 other things wrong with this. But Maureen knew that this short person was safe; she knew in her heart.

"I don't know the grief you are going through, but I know pain. You don't need a drink. You need a friend."

"And you think that's you?"

"No," she said. "I don't think its me. I know it is."

"My name is Maureen. Maureen Johnson," she added softly.

"Kristin Yancy." Maureen noticed that they were still holding hands. She let hers drop finally.

"So.....Kristin. Do you bring women home from the bar often?"she said, looking down and tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

"You're my first."

"So, are you even out yet!?"

"Out?" Kristin asked. It then dawned on her. "If you sleep over, Miz Maureen, it'll be in my guest nook." Kristin opened two root beers and handed one over. "At the bar, when I saw you, I knew you needed a friend more than a drink; you have a broken heart, and a broken soul. Alcohol doesn't fix those." Maureen guzzled her soda. "Talking about it all does, though."

"Its caffine free, isn't it."

"Yep."

* * *

"Its not any one event that makes me sad. Its all of them," Maureen said as she watched the sun rise from Kristin's window. The two had talked about love and loss the whole night, and now as the sun started to rise, Maureen had been able to feel like she wasn't as alone as she thought.

"I remembered seeing you at group counselling last year. You used to come a lot, but you never spoke."

"Didn't feel like talking."

"You weren't ready to share your friends with strangers."

"No....I guess not." Maureen sighed. "Why were you there?"

"My pastor asked me to help lead the women's groups. I've never lost anyone they way you have."

"Over and over......and over....."

"Know what I think?" Maureen glanced over her shoulder at Kristin for a moment before sitting on the couch with her. "I think that it has been ten years since you were in a relationship, and at least two years since you felt loved by anyone. You are lonely."

"I am."

"But, Maureen, you are Not alone."

"Excuse me?"

"You aren't alone anymore, Maureen," she said, resting a hand on Maureen's shoulder. "You don't have to be." Kristin pulled Maureen into a gentle hug as the dark haired woman broke in her arms. "You aren't alone," she whispered, over and over.

* * *

To those of you unfamiliar with NBC's biggest hit (huge hit. breast-implant huge.), 'Kristin,' ask the two people who've seen it. If ANYone gets that joke, I'll be impressed.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

* * *

When Maureen opened her eyes, she wasn't sure exactly where she was for a moment. But she was warm, and still dressed, including her boots. There was someone in the next room, singing beautifully, and she could smell coffee.

Kristin. The blond woman who she'd gone home with the night before. The Bible-beater from the bar, who turned out to be very kind, and could hold her side of sarcastic conversations. Maureen stood and wandered into the kitchen, where the singing was coming from.

"Kristin," Maureen called as she pushed open the door gently. The nook of a kitchen suited the blond woman, who busied herself pouring coffee and reading sheet music as she sang. Maureen was greeted with a warm smile.

"Sleep okay?"

"Sort of. We...didn't.....-"

"You don't remember...?"

"Okies wasn't my first stop last night." Maureen looked down for a moment before meeting Kristin's eyes. She bit her bottom lip.

"Kept it perfectly PG rated." Maureen nodded.

"I....um.....Thanks....for last night. Its been a very long time since I felt like.....I don't know....I mattered to someone." Kristin smiled up at her and handed off a cup of coffee. "Thank you."

"What are friends for?" she asked, smiling.

Maureen took her coffee into the living room. She didn't know if she was ready to call this new person a friend yet.

* * *

Kristin yawned as she watched the brightly lit ball on her screen. She could head down town to watch it in person, as she had in years past, but it was too cold for her taste this year. Tommy would have invited her to the New Year party, had he known she'd have accepted.

But she wasn't invited, and was alone.

She thought about bringing Maureen home the night before and realized that she needed a friend as much as Maureen did. Kristin flipped off the TV and stretched out on the couch. It smelled like Maureen's shampoo.

'_Why am I being clingy to a person whom I've just met? Its not like I lost her. She just went home.'_ she thought to herself. Kristin glanced at the clock. It was 11:10.

"She didn't want to be alone," she said out loud. "Well, I don't want to be alone, either."

Kristin pulled on her boots and coat. As she zipped up the warm coat, she left the apartment, headed to where Maureen lived.

The cab deposited her in front of the old building on Avenue A, and she paid him. She stared up at the ratted old building, seeing a light on in most of the windows. She could see Maureen pacing in one large window near the top of the building, and Kristin smiled. She went into the main entrance and walked up the several flights of stairs. It smelled, and the floor was sticky. Kristin held her breath until she was unable to any longer. As soon as she was at Maureen's door, she knocked.

Maureen opened the large door and smiled down.

"Look what the homeless cat dragged in," she said, letting the woman in.

The large flat was very different from the rest of the building.

It was Clean. The polished hardwood floors echoed where Kristin stepped down, and the fireplace crackled and glowed with heat.

"This is a beautiful place, Maureen."

"Like I said, Joanne left me with a lot of money. I fixed the place up for Collins, Roger, Mimi, Mark and me. Roger and Mimi needed a clean, warm home to live in, especially while they were sick." The kitchen area had a half-wall put up. Maureen climbed up and walked across it like a balence beam. She hopped down and bowed.

"Very nice."

"What brings you here?"

"Its New Years in.....okay 5 minutes ago. Happy 2003," Kristin stammered. Maureen smiled. "I....I didn't want to be alone this year," Kristin muttered. Maureen draped an arm around her shoulder.

"Then together, we shall be. If you and I both hate being alone, then perhaps.......perhaps we should spend more time together." Kristin smiled. "I didn't want to be alone, either."

* * *

"You're late," Maureen taunted as Kristin skidded into their booth a little over a month later. The two met for lunch almost daily at a cafe near Tommy's building.

"Sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it. You know the drill." Kristin moaned and dropped her head onto the table.

"It wasn't my fault! Tommy-"

"Nope."

"And then Aldo-"

"Not buying it." Maureen folded her arms and smirked as Kristin stood up. The waitress, who had gotten used to the two women eating there daily, smiled.

"I love it when she's late," she said as she put water at the table and Kristin began to dance a little soft-shoe number

"I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date. No time to say "Hello," Goodbye, I'm late, I'm late, I'm LATE!" Maureen couldn't contain her laughter when Kristin sang the little song, and chuckled heartily. The blushing blond slid into the booth.

"Lovely. Why were you late?"

"Tommy and Aldo ambushed me. They followed and are staring through the door behind me," she said, not even bothering to look and confirm. Maureen waved. "Don't flirt with them; they are egotistical, and will be all over you."

"Ah, but I'm a lesbian. They'll never get where they want."

"Don't toy with them."

"I'm a child. I like toys."

"Isn't that a quote from 'the Sound of Music?" Kristin asked. Maureen nodded and toasted with her glass of water as she looked over the new menu that had been placed at the table.

"What are you doing Friday?"

"Nothing planned. You?"

"I will be practicing a few songs and dances for.......auditioning." Kristin gagged on her water.

"You're going to try again!" she squealed, launching herself around the table and into Maureen's arms.

"Yes. But I'm really worried. I haven't danced or sang like that in years. Can you help me get ready?" Kristin nodded and sat back into her own booth. "I want to go for a role in...you're going to laugh......Beauty and the Beast." Kristin's eyes lit up.

"I love that play! Its innocent and lovely."

"Joanne loved the movie. When she was in the hospital, it had just come out on video, so I bought a copy. She would watch it with the kids who were as sick as she was. One little girl, Morgan, who was in the Pediatric ward, would curl up with Joanne, compair balding issues and watch the movie together. She loved Belle's hair." Kristin felt her eyes tearing up. "I gave her the video...after. She went into remission. I still get letters once or twice a year."

"That's sweet, Maureen!"

"It reminds me how hard those two fought," she whispered, setting her menu down. "Jo and Morgan, when they were too sick to watch the movie, I sang them to sleep with the songs from the movie."

"Are you going to be okay doing this in front of people?"

"I feel like I would be honoring Joanne. Like this is a tribute to the fight to survive." She folded her menu and set it on top of Kristin's and folded her hands on top of the table. "I don't know if I can do this, but I know I need to try. And I know that I really need you there, Kristin."

"Where else could I be?" Kristin asked, resting a hand on top of her friend's. Maureen glanced at the door behind Kristin.

"Your boss's eye-brows can't raise any higher, Kris."

"Oh really?" Kristin grinned, and brought her other hand to hold both of Maureen's. It wasn't a huge gesture, but it was enough to cause Tommy to fall over Aldo. Maureen laughed. "Either they are going to stop spying, or they will spy a whole lot more. When do we start rehersals?"

"Tomorrow night?"

"I'll be at your place at 5:30."

* * *

WOOT! Chapter 2 is done! Anyone up for more?


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

* * *

The cold February day seemed to drag on for Kristin; answer phone, deliver messages, make fresh coffee, and watch the second hand of the clock tick away. Lunch ended up being held in Tommy's office while they discussed a new building site, and she took notes. Finally, at 4:53, and 30 seconds, Tommy let her rush out.

She grabbed a cab down to Avenue A, and dug for the building key Maureen had given her.

"You're early," Maureen called from the balcony.

"Yo, Mo! I didn't want to sing or dance the 'Kristi's Late Jig' again! I forogt my key. Toss?" Maureen tossed the keys down and watched her friend disappear into the building.

As soon as Kristin shut and locked the door, Maureen pulled the heavy coat off for her, and handed her a mug of hot water with lemon.

"The singer's special," she said. Kristin sipped at it. "We have three weeks to prep for the show."

"Do you speak any French?"

"Um, no."

"We'll work on that later; you need to get your voice back to its prime, and quickly."

* * *

An hour an a half later, the two were snuggled into heavy blankets on the couch, sipping more hot lemon water, laughing about the first practice. It had been fun, and the two were happily resting.

"Its snowing pretty hard, Kris. You should stay here tonight."

"I have work in the morning."

"So?"

"I have no clothes-"

"You can borrow something from me. Its business enough if you flirt with Tommy just right."

"Ugh; gross."

"There is no interest?"

"There might have been at one point, but he's sleazy. He hired me because I was religious, and wouldn't sleep with him. It never stopped him from trying." Maureen frowned.

"He didn't hurt you-"

"No! He just kept asking me out, hitting on me, flirting with me, and everything else under the sun to get me to be interested in him. He just isn't my type."

"Aw! Poor guy. Am I your type?"

"Sorry, no."

"What is your type?" Kristin thought for a moment.

"I don't know anymore. I used to have this whole 'perfect guy' in my head, but it was so much about height, weight, and success, that Tommy fit into perfectly. He's the guy who I would love to go out with, maybe even go to bed with." Maureen grinned. "But he's not who I want to wake up next to."

"Who do you want to wake up next to?"

"Someone who is kind, who has a heart of gold, and cares about me with all of his heart. Someone who I am so in-love with, that I want to wake up early and watch him sleep.....who is my best friend, and the person who will spend the rest of his life wanting to hold my hand."

"You would have loved Mark. Roger and Collins, too. They had their share of everything wrong, but they were like that," Maureen sighed.

"You want that guy...or girl....too, don't you, sweetie?" Maureen nodded and rested on Kristin's shoulder. "Here's to meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right."

"Here, here."

* * *

The next three weeks were nearly identical to the first night; work, rehersals, up late talking. Kristin eventually brought clothes over, and just stayed the night with Maureen, as the weather was usually too nasty to want to go home, and cabs were rare in Avenue A. Even thorugh it was March, and the weather got better slowly, she stayed over. They occassionally broke into song, 'Skid Row,' in honor of the lack of cabs.

Kristin paced outside of the room while Maureen auditioned, listening as every note was hit with perfection. Kristin was exhausted, and wanted to lay down, but she knew she needed to be there for Maureen. This was her moment, and this was how she was going to be able to move another step past losing her friends.

Every note that Kristin could here was perfect. However, Maureen stepped out, and she wasn't happy.

"You sounded so good, Maureen!"

"I'm not what they're looking for." Her voice was flat and defeated. "Can we just go home?"

"Of course."

* * *

Maureen lay curled up on the couch, trying to hide the rejection she felt, sniffling lightly. Kristin could be heard, singing very softly as she cooked. Her voice was rough, and she paused to cough several times. "Time to go grocery shopping," Kristin croaked. When she sneezed, hard, it lead to a rough coughing fit. Maureen sat up.

"Kris, come sit down; you have to be tired. You put in as much as I did along with a full-time job!"

"I'm fine. You rela-" she started. Another coughing fit and Maureen opened up her blanket. Even with the fireplace and heater, the apatment was chilly. As Kristin snuggled in, Maureen noticed her red little nose, and touched her forehead.

"You're not fine, Kristi, you're burning up!"

"I'm fine; its a cold."

"Lay down, and let me cook for you tonight," Maureen insisted. Kristin was too tired to argue, so she laid back. Maureen grabbed the thermometer and slipped it into Kristin's mouth. As soon as it beeped, she read the digital display. "You have a fever, sweetie.  
Its at 101.7. I'm getting you some Tylonal, and you're sleeping right here by the fire. Okay?" Kristin nodded and snuggled into the blankets and farther into the couch. She closed here eyes and listened to her friend bustle around the kitchen.

Soon, Maureen handed her tea and two pills, and told her to go back to sleep. Kristin swallowed the medicine and rested against Maureen's shoulder.

"Sleep now, sweetie," Maureen said as she laid her friend back onto the couch and tucked her in. "Feel better."

* * *

NOTE: Thanks for reading! More on the way!


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

Note: Time frame. Roughly, by now its early March.

* * *

"Maureen," Kristin croaked, a few hours later. It was dark as the fire had gone out, and Maureen was asleep on the chair near the couch.

"What's wrong?"

"I feel terrible," she whimpered, sounding very weak. Maureen rested her hand on Kristin's forehead. It was warmer than before. She put the thermometer into the other woman's mouth and waited.

"Kristi, we need to go to the hospital, sweetie."

"Why?"

"You're fever hasn't gone down. Its at 104.1. I'm going to call a cab. Okay?" Kristin nodded while Maureen dug out her cell phone. As soon as she hung up, she gathered things up; shoes, coats, hats, scarves, and gloves. As soon as she finished getting Kristin ready, as she was dizzy from the fever, she pulled her own winter boots on and dressed.

"I don't know if I can stand up." Maureen tried to lift the small blond, but was afraid of dropping her on the stairs. The cab called, and said they were going to be there in an hour.

"I'm calling Tommy."

"No!"

"Too late," Maureen said as she hit 'call' on her phone.

* * *

Within 20 minutes, Tommy was banging on the door, limo down stairs waiting, with heat. He looked at the sick blond, huddled on the couch for less than a second.

"Come on," he said, lifting her in one swift move. He could feel the heat radiating from her. "She's not doing so hot, is she?"

"We should hurry," Maureen said.

"You should have called an ambulance."

"No!" Kristin protested.

"Can't argue with her." Maureen closed and locked her apartment and followed Tommy and Kristin to the limo.

"I got her from here, Maureen." Tommy tucked her into the back seat.

"Maureen?" Kristin called weakly. "Don't leave me, Mo." Maureen slid in next to her friend, who rested in her arms. Tommy felt defeated, but was happy that Kristin was warm and safe now.

* * *

"She's going to be fine, Maureen," Tommy assured her.

"I know she will be."

"You don't sound convinced."

"Its personal."

"What, you lost a friend here before?"

"Too many, but again, its personal." Tommy clamped his mouth shut. "I just hate seeing her so sick. She was fine at the auditions. Aside from a chest cold the last week or two, she's been fine."

"She's had a cold?"

"Yeah. Not a bad one, but it just got bad today; fever after the auditions, and it just got bad from there." She looked at the clock. It was nearly 3:00 in the morning. "Twelve hours ago, she had a mild fever, and now she's in the hospital."

"Thank you, by the way."

"For.....?"

"Calling me. I really care about that girl in there. I know she doesn't see me the way I see her, but I really am happy to help her. She's.....she's something special." Maureen felt her breath catch.

"She's my best friend." Tommy eyed her carefully. They'd only been friends for about 2 months. "She's the best friend I could have ever hoped for."

"She really likes you, too. This last couple of months, she's been a lot happier. Its not because of her new place, let me tell you." Maureen smiled and looked away. "I think having a friend like you has done a lot of good for her. She's just happier, and seeing her happy makes me happy."

"She's an incredible friend."

"Are you in-love with her?" Tommy asked, bluntly.

"Are you?"

"Fair question."

"I don't know. I care about her, but I haven't really thought about her in that light. I'm not her type." Tommy snorted a cynical laugh.

"I don't think she knows what her type is." Maureen bit her bottom lip.

"Miss Johnson? Mr. Ballintine?" a doctor called into the waiting room.

"Is Kristin okay?"

"We're sending her home. She's going to be all right. She's asking for you, Miss Johnson." The doctor gave them a little more information about Kristin's condition and waited by the door to the waiting area.

"Do you want me to stick around, or do you want to take a cab home?"

"We'll catch a cab...unless you want to stay and see her....?" Tommy shook his head and headed to the exit.

"You've got it covered, and she'll probably want to go back to your place anyway." He seemed to sound defeated. "Good luck."

* * *

The doctor sent Kristin home with Maureen, and antibiotics and a nebulizer for the chest cold she'd managed to ignore for several weeks. It was now bactirial pneumonia. The doctor also sent her home with a very stern lecture about caring for herself, staying warm, getting rest and fluids, and breathing treatments.

"You're staying with me," Maureen said as Kristin rested her head on Maureen's lap in the cab. She gave the address as she stroked Kristin's soft hair. "I'll send out for groceries in the morning. Tommy gave you the time off to get well. You're not going to call, e mail, or fax work in for the next two weeks; you need sleep."

"M'kay."

"Oh, sweetie, you sound so sick."

"Feel so sick."

"You'll stay warm and curled up in my room. I'm not taking no for an answer." Kristin nodded, and she closed her eyes.

As soon as Kristin was tucked into the warmest spot in Maureen's bed, Maureen set up her medicines and breathing treatments, and laid down next to the tiny blond. She was sleeping, thanks to all the medicine the doctor had given her.

"Kris, please don't die on me," Maureen whispered to the sleeping woman. "I can't lose you, sweetie. You're all I've got, and I care too much about you."

Kristin snored softly once before coughing roughly.

And Maureen realized that Tommy was right; she was falling in love.

* * *

NOTE: Maureen is feeling the luv!


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fan fiction only!

* * *

"Too bright!" Kristin blinked as the curtains opened up, letting in sun light.

"You need sun light or you'll never want to leave the bedroom."

"How is blinding me going to help me want to get out of bed?"

"Its not, but I have a nice hot bath waiting for you, with lavender scented bubbles." She helped Kristin out of bed and changed the sheets while the woman soaked in the tub.

The new sheets were a more decorative than the plain white ones she tossed into the wash basket. These new ones were sage green, with little pink roses and bits of lilac printed on them. The duvet she put over the down comforter matched, as well as the new pillow cases.

"Oh, those are so pretty, Mo," Kristin gasped as she was tucked back into bed an hour later. The late night at the hospital had them both sleeping in for a good part of the day. Maureen only woke up to give Kristin the medicine and breathing treatments as the doctor had ordered. She helped Kristin with more medicines, and a light lunch before taking a shower herself. When she stepped out, Kristin was sleeping again. Her fever was down a little, but she still sounded terrible.

Maureen watched her sleep. She looked small and helpless. Maureen considered calling Kristin's parents, but decided against it when she had no idea how to introduce herself. Friend? They were so much more than that. Girl friend? Not quite that close. But there was something they were both skirting around. She could feel it.

But Maureen didn't know if Kristin felt it, too.

* * *

Kristin had gone home to stay after two weeks at Maureen's apartment. She felt she needed to, although she felt like she was leaving home rather than going home. The feelings were new and very confusing. She tried to understand, change, and even ignore them, but they were there, and refused to let her shut them out.

The feelings invaded her sleep. She woke up several times a night feeling lost, or alone. All she could sense was that she wanted Maureen there with her.

She wanted to define things that had no form yet. She didn't know what the feelings were that she had. She just knew that she felt something different for Maureen.

* * *

Mid April, 2003

Maureen missed Kristin's soft snore, and even the smell of her body soap; it had begun to fade after a week from the pillows and blankets she used.

Kristin meant the world to her, and she didn't even try to understand why. She had felt the same way about Joanne, and Mark.

Maureen knew she loved Kristin. So when she herd the phone ring at 3:46 am 3 weeks after her stay had ended, she didn't bother arguing the time when Kristin's tear-filled voice asked her to come over.

"What's wrong?" she asked the second the door opened. She gathered her friend in her arms as she sobbed.

"I...I feel so ridiculous now."

"What?"

"I had a terrible dream, and I was scared," she said, tucking herself into Maureen's arms farther as they sat on the soft couch.

"What were you afraid of, Kristi?"

"Being alone." Maureen tucked the blond hair behind the smaller woman's ear. "I'm sorry I called-"

"There's no place in the world I'd rather be," she said firmly. "Kristi, you're not alone. Remember New Years Eve, about 5am, you told me I didn't have to be alone. You aren't alone," she whispered, letting her friend rest in her arms.

"Being alone is too hard."

"Do you know what I miss most about my friends?" Kristin sniffled and looked up at Maureen. "I miss hugging. I miss feeling their arms around me. Joanne loved to hold me when she slept, just how I'm holding you now. After she died, when I was having a rough night, Mark, Collins, Roger, and even Mimi would let me sleep in their beds, just holding me until I felt better.

"They would hold me, and each was a little different. Mark would tell me that I was safe, and could sleep in his arms. Mimi would say that I was loved. Collins would talk to me about Angel until I fell asleep. But it was Roger, really, who helped the most. He sang to me. He had me in his arms, and Mimi curled up to his back, and they would sing me to sleep." Kristin sniffled, and gently wiped a tear from Maureen's cheek, that Maureen hadn't even noticed had fallen. "The biggest surprise was that they were still there in the morning. They didn't sneak off to their own bed, or to mine to sleep. They stayed."

"They loved you."

"They did. And they loved each other." Maureen tilting Kristin's chin up. "Would you let me hold you tonight? I don't if its for my sake or yours, but-"

"I would like that," Kristin said, standing and holding out her hand. "Very much."

* * *

When Kristin woke, she felt warm, and she felt safe. She was curled up into Maureen's arms, and she was happy. But there was something else. She felt something more for the woman who held her, and she didn't understand it.

"Morning," came a soft voice.

"Hi."

"Sleep okay?" Maureen asked, brushing the blond hair from Kristin's eyes.

"Yes," she whispered, finding it hard to breathe.

"You snore, and its actually kind of cute." Kristin's heart thumped a little harder in her chest. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I just-"

"Are you attracted to me?" Maureen asked, teasing. She expected Kristin to respond with her usual answer; "_Sorry Maur, not my type_." But instead, Kristin's eyes went wide. Maureen stopped teasing. "Are you, Kristi?" Kristin was trembling, and she nodded. "This isn't who you are, sweetie. You're not a lesbian."

"I know-"

"But...."

"I....I think I'm falling in-love with you, Maureen. I don't understand it, and I don't know what to say or think or feel...." Maureen carefully tucked the blond hair from Kristin's face again.

"Baby, what do you feel right now. If you could be or do anything right now, no consequences, what would you do?"

"Kiss you," she whispered, without a heart-beat-length pause. Maureen stroked her cheek gently.

"Kiss me."

"I can't."

"If you don't like it, all of your worries will be over."

"I'm not afraid of _not_ liking it, Maur."

"You're scared you will." Kristin nodded. "Please, don't be afraid. I'd never hurt you, Kristi. Go with your heart," Maureen urged. Kristin leaned in and their lips met. Within a split second of the beginning of the kiss, Kristin was moaning and pushing into Maureen's lips. It was deep and passionate. Kristin felt Maureen's hand touch her face, the pad of her thumb stroke her cheek in just such a manner that made Kristin's stomach flutter.

Finally she pulled away.

"Now I know," she whispered, staring into Maureen's eyes.

"And?"

"I need time to sort through this, Mo," she said, kissing Maureen's hands. "But please know, I really liked that."

"What does it mean?"

"I don't know. Please, can I have a day or two to understand?" Maureen nodded. Kristin leaned in and kissed her deeply again. "Just a day or two to figure out some things. I promise."

* * *

Note: The weather isn't the only thing heating up here.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

* * *

"I'm confused about something," Kristin said, sitting in Tommy's office. Aldo was alone, sitting in Tommy's chair, writing.

"Work or no?" he asked, not looking up.

"Personal. I usually wouldn't come to you or Tommy, but I really need to talk."

"What's up?"

"Am I a lesbian?"

"And a Good Morning to you, too!" Aldo said, eyebrows higher than Kristin's ever seen them. "Are you a lesbian? I figure until you're no longer a virgin, you're still on the fence."

"Oh, sweetie, just because I'm Christian doesn't mean I haven't sinned before. I've made mistakes, I've done things with boys that I maybe shouldn't have," she laughed.

"What about girls?" Aldo asked. She sobered.

"I kissed Maureen this morning." Tommy gagged on his coffee as he stepped into the office, just as she spoke.

"You what!?"

"I.....kissed Maureen. I wanted to, she wanted to, _boy....did I want to_." Her heart started thumping in her chest again. "Oh, I'm so confused!" She dropped her head into her hands. Tommy and Aldo were at her side, comforting her within seconds.

"Kristin, if you like this girl, and I've seen her, she's hot, don't let her slip away. The two of you are best friends and I think....if you are attracted to her, and she is to you, go ahead! If you need to know for sure, why don't the two of you just come over to my place tonight and I'll help you figure it out-"

"What Tommy means," Aldo interjected. "Is that if you like her, follow your heart."

"But what about God? The Bible has strict rules; Man does not lie down with man as he would a woman."

"It doesn't say anything about woman lying down with woman," Aldo grinned. Tommy shot him a dirty look. "Look, that passage is from Leviticus, right?"

"You've read the Bible?" Kristin asked, shocked.

"I'm Catholic. Of course I read the Bible! It was a Holiness code. It outlawed sex before marriage, sex when a woman is on her 'Special time,' eating shell fish, or playing with a skin of a pig! Football was punishable by death! Gay is listed right along with football, birth control, and, well, goin' solo."

"Aldo," Tommy said slowly. "Something you need to tell me?"

"My brother's gay. I wasn't so understanding about it when he came out a couple of months ago. He read me the riot act, and gave me all this stuff to read. The only thing holding people back is misunderstandings and their own personal bias." Kristin took a deep shuddering breath. "I'll bring you what I have this afternoon. It'll help." Aldo gave her a hug. "Look, I know we're not that close of friends, but you have my support."

"Thank you," she whispered. Tommy hugged her as well.

"Mine too."

* * *

Kristin read the literature that Aldo had given her, and started one of the books. It had been just over a week since The Kiss. Tommy was kind enough to give her the week off to make sense of everything on her own.

But now it had been a week since she'd seen or even spoken to Maureen.

She'd missed lunches, dinners, movie night, and helping Maureen get ready for a big audition she had coming up. Kristin felt terrible. She picked up the phone a dozen times a day to call Maureen, but called everyone else instead.

And told them nothing.

Finally, she couldn't stand the silence any more. She picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Hello?" came a voice after three rings.

"I need to talk to you," Kristin said, sitting on her counter top. "I'm stuck in a muck of a problem, Mama." Kristin's mother sighed.

"So, it only took you a week this time. We're doing better. What's his name, sweet heart?"

Kristin took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"Maureen."

* * *

"Hi," Maureen said, sounding shy for the first time since Kristin had met her. "Do you want to come in?"

"Boy, is _that_ a loaded question." Maureen rolled her eyes. "Sorry."

"In or out, no pun intended." Kristin stepped in. "Well, tell me why it won't work, and get it over with."

"Maur, I'm sorry I took so long to come and talk to you. I needed to think about what I really feel and figure out what I want and waht I feel before I came over."

"Whatever."

"I needed to so I didn't risk hurting you. If I jumped into this, and it wasn't right, I'd hurt you," she pleaded. "I can't do that-"

"Then why bother coming over?"

"Because.....I really do care about you and......I want to give this a chance." Maureen froze in place.

"You want to figure out if you're a lesbian with me," she stated.

"No. I've already figured out that part. I am very attracted to you; emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, physically.......sexually."

"How do you know you are?"

"After a few very......very long and scarey talks with my boss, pastor and mother, I realized that I didn't care what they thought about the idea that I want you. All I know," she said, taking Maureen's hand. "Is that I want to be with you."

"Kristi, I'm not going to be a fling or an experiment. If you want me, baby, know that it has to be the real deal."

"I really feel like it is." Maureen stepped closer to Kristin and stood toe to toe.

"Promise me," she started. "Promise me that you aren't going to run out of here when you realize what it is you've gotten into."

"I promise."

"I'm moody, grumpy, messy, emotional, irrational-"

"Spontaneous, funny, very kind, and very supportive. And beautiful."

"And a flirt-"

"And my best friend, with whom I am in-love."

"Just......don't leave me when I get difficult."

"I Promise. Promise you won't push me away when I get scared."

"Okay," Maureen smiled down at the blond. Kristin put her arms around Maureen's neck and kissed her gently. "So kissing is in. Is this?" she asked, kissing her again, letting her toungue run over the other woman's lip. Kristin melted into the kiss, trembling.

"I think I can handle this," she whimpered.

* * *

Tommy stared through the one-way mirror at his secretary and friend. She was centered, efficiant, and seemed happier than he'd seen her before. She'd always been perky, but now she was happy.

"Hey, Aldo," he called over his shoulder. "Think this has always been why she's push off my advances?"

"No."

"Thanks."

"Sorry, but I think that even if she wasn't a lesbian, she wouldn't be that into you; you have too much of a past for her."

"And Mo doesn't?"

"Calling her Mo doesn't make her a man, Tommy." Maureen walked in and was sitting on Kristin's desk, flirting. Tommy swallowed when Maureen leaned down and kissed the short blond.

"Goddamn I love that window." Aldo glared at him for a moment before closing the view side.

"As hot as I think that is, its not for us to gawk at." The door to the office opened and Tommy clamped his mouth closed. "Morning, Kristin," Aldo called from Tommy's desk.

"Good morning. Fax just came in for you to sign, Tommy. Inspection came back on the new building this morning. Everything is within code, everyone is happy, and people want to see condo units." She set a small stack of papers on Tommy's desk. "Sign, return, and I'll have them delivered tomorrow morning."

"Thanks, Kristin."

"And stop watching me through the one-way. I know when its open."

"How?"

"It makes noise." Tommy nodded.

"You two are all official then?"

"I'm dating her, yes," Kristin said softly. She felt her stomach knot.

"Kristin, are you all right?"

"I'm just not comfortable talking about it-"

"My brother said it helped when he officially came out. Even if it was to people who already knew, just to say it out loud. He even found a church that he and his boyfriend go to."

"Really?"

"I'll get the address tonight." Kristin nodded. She still felt strange talking about Maureen. "Say it out loud, you'll feel better."

"I....I'm a........" She bit her lip and glanced at the door. Aldo walked over and called Maureen in.

"Everything okay?" Kristin took her hand and took a deep breath.

"I have an announcement."

"We're listening," Aldo said, sitting down.

"Aldo, Tommy, I'm a lesbian. I want to introduce you to my girlfriend, Maureen." She let out a deep breath.

And she felt better.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

* * *

Special thanks to I-Stalk-Espinosa-xo, my wonderful new beta! You are patient and talented! And to The Last Truffula Tree, a talented young writer, who inspires my imagination! Thank you, my new friends!

Extra special thanks to my poor husband, who is dealing with heat, no air conditioner, and no dinner because I'm too busy writing this.

* * *

Tommy and Aldo congratulated the two of them. Aldo knew that it was hard for Kristin to say the words out loud. Just saying them and making it official added a bit of stability to their new relationship.

After work, the two hopped a cab to Queens to Maureen's parent's house. Even though they had been together less than a week, they were best friends, and it felt like a natural progression of their relationship. Meeting the parents seemed like the next thing to do.

"Maureen!" her mother called, hugging her lovely daughter.

"Hi Mom! Hi Daddy!" she called over her mother's shoulder. "Mom, I want you to meet Kristin Yancy, my girlfriend." Maureen took the dish of food they'd brought so her mother could greet Kristin.

"Yes, hello dear," Maureen's mother gave out quick hugs and led the two women in. "Call me Nancy."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Nancy."

"Kristin cooked some of her mother's casserole for dinner. Its amazing. Its called-"

"Hum-dum-ditty. There's no real recipe for it, so its usually never the same twice. This one has potatoes, peas, carrots, cheese, rice, and a biscut crust."

"No meat?"

"Mother, I'm a vegetarian," Maureen pointed out, with her best annoyed grin. From her tone, Kristin assumed it was not the first time she'd had to remind her.

"At least you eat regularly now, sweetheart." Maureen rolled her eyes and brought the dish into the kitchen, leaving her mother and girlfriend alone.

"I make sure she's well fed--" Kristin stopped as she was pulled into a very firm hug.

"I don't know you, but that is the first time my daughter has smiled at me in ten years. Thank you," she whispered, voice catching. She released Kristin and stepped back. "We sound like we argue, and I may not look as though I approve, but Maureen hasn't come in that door with a smile since Joanne, and even then, it wasn't like that."

"I'm new at all this. I've never dated a woman before, and I've only known Maureen for about 5 months."

"How long have you been dating?"

"Kind of a loaded question. It's either been ten days, or three. Depending on when you start counting." Kristin followed Nancy into the kitchen.

"I count it as 2 months," Maureen called. "Since you got sick-"

"You're not well, dear?" Nancy gasped. She felt the same fear rise in her chest as she had when Joanne first got sick.

"I had a chest cold that got really bad. Maureen took care of me." Kristin gave a small, shy grin.

"She had Pneumonia. Other than _that_, she was fine. What's in the oven?" Maureen asked as she slid Kristin's casserole in on the top shelf.

"Veggie lasagna." Maureen closed it and smiled at her mother. "I know what you eat. Its a mother's prerogative to annoy her children, dear. Should you_ ever decide to have any_-"

"Mother!"

"You'll understand what I'm talking about."

"Kristin, I give you: My Mother!" Maureen held her hands out toward her mother.

* * *

Eddie Johnson stood at the door to his kitchen and listened to the laughter coming from his wife and daughter. Maureen had such an beautiful laugh when she was really happy. He hadn't heard that laugh in far too long. The woman she brought home was the polar opposite of Joanne; she was small, blond, perky, and could hold up her side of the sarcasm just as well as Maureen. He had yet to meet this young woman, but he already liked her.

"Is dinner nearly ready?"

"Hi, Dad! This is Kristin. Kristin, this is my Dad, Eddie."

"Pleasure," the man said, taking Kristin's hand.

"We're still waiting on Sasha and the girls," Nancy said over her shoulder while she pulled plates from a shelf.

"I never told you about my little sister!" Maureen gushed. "She's twenty-seven has two kids, Allie and Kassidy. Her husband, Ron," she started, rolling her eyes as she said her brother-in-law's name. "Is a total sleaze, and we're just waiting for the papers to be finished so we can roll them up and beat him with them."

"Maureen!"

"Mom, he cheated on my sister, and therefore he is scum." Nancy sighed. "I may have had issues with Mark and Joanne, but I never walked out on one family to play house with another."

"Enough, Mo," Maureen's father gently commanded. Maureen clamped her mouth closed when she heard the door open.

"Hello?" called a soft voice.

"Sasha!" Maureen called as she stood to greet her little sister. The sleeping baby in her arms stirred.

"Can you get Allie from the cab?" Maureen nodded and stepped outside. "I'm putting Kass in my room," she said, just poking her head into the kitchen. As the front door opened and closed a moment later, Kristin shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

"Kristi," Maureen called from the kitchen door. "Come meet Sasha and Allison." Kristin followed her girlfriend into the den, where the two women were sitting on the floor with the toddler.

"Hello," Kristin said as she sat next to Maureen. "Kristin Yancy."

"Sasha Douglas. This is my oldest daughter, Allie. She's a little grumpy; she was asleep in the cab."

"Hi, sweetie!"

"Hi," the three-year-old whispered, hiding in her mother's arms. "Aunt Mo-ween? Who she?"

"She's my best friend."

"Oh. I'm hungwy, Mama." Sasha handed her daughter a sippy cup.

"Go see Grandma and Grandpa. Its nearly dinner time." The little girl scampered into the other room. As soon as she was out of sight, Sasha began to cry.

"Sash," Maureen gasped as her sister cried into her hands. "Is Ron back-"

"No, he won't see the girls at all, but Allie keeps asking for him. She's so upset by it all," the woman sobbed. "She cried herself to sleep last night because she needed Daddy to read her a story." Kristin stroked the other woman's hair. "He's taking the house, and we have to move in here with Mom and Dad."

"I can't say I know what you're going through," she started. "But whatever help you need, you've got," Kristin murmured to the young woman. Maureen smiled, feeling more in love with Kristin than she thought possible. "Maureen?" she mouthed.

"Sasha, I'll be right back," Maureen whispered. She lead Kristin up the stairs to her old bedroom. "I want her to stay with me, but I don't know."

"She and those two babies can't stay in that neighborhood; it's not safe for the girls!"

"What do you suggest?"

"I have a two-bedroom apartment. There's room for her to stay there with them, at least temporarily. It's small, but it's better than living at home again."

"And where would you stay?"

"I didn't think about that." Kristin bit her bottom lip.

"Do you want to stay at my place for a while?"

"Like move in?" she asked. Maureen held her breath and nodded. Kristin felt a wave of emotion wash over her.

"Do you want to move in with me?" Maureen stammered. Kristin felt her breath stop. "I know it's fast, but we can live together and still maintain our PG-ratings."

"Oh, we're already into PG-13, headed straight past R and looking toward that NC-17."

"Move in with me, Kristi," she whispered. Kristin wrapped her arms around Maureen's neck and nodded before giving her a knee-buckling kiss.

* * *

A week later, the last of Kristin's books and clothes were in the back of Eddie's truck, and were heading to Maureen's place, while Sasha was putting together a crib with Tommy and Aldo's help at Kristin's old place.

"I think it goes that way," Tommy said, head quirked to the side.

"You're an architect? It goes like this, for crying out loud," Sasha scolded, turning the headboard of the crib in the right direction.

"This is more complicated than a condo building."

"Yeah, try doing it when you're 8 months pregnant," came a sarcastic retort. Tommy laughed.

"Mama, I want Daddy to read." Sasha felt her stomach drop.

"Can I read to you before your nap today?" Tommy offered. "I'm not as good as Daddy, but I do a great Papa Bear voice."

"Okay."

"Go hop into bed and I'll be there in a few minutes, Kiddo." Allie giggled and went into her bedroom.

"Thank you."

"Any time. She looks so much like my sister and her kids, its hard to see that little bottom lip shake like that. Pulls my heart." He picked a book out from a box and headed into Allie's room.

"Here, let me. Tommy draws the stuff, I actually have more to do than he does, and yet he gets paid 50 times what I do," Aldo said with a smile.

He put the crib together in 20 minutes with minimal swearing, and only one band-aid. Tommy had gotten Allie to take a nap, and started unpacking kitchen things, while Sasha put books away.

"Sasha," Tommy called from the kitchen. "You hungry?"

"Starving."

"I'm thinking about picking something up from the deli downstairs. Kristin tells me its a great little place."

"Is she as nice as she seems?"

"No, she's about ten million times nicer. She's good, through and through."

"So she and Maureen are good together?"

"I only know Mo with Kristin, but Kristin went from nice, to happy. So, I like Maureen for Kristin. What kind of sandwich do you like?"

"Smoked turkey with Colby jack, lettuce and tomato. No mustard or mayo, and a grilled cheese for Allie." Sasha pulled some cash from her purse, but Tommy held up his hands, refusing the money.

"Let me get this one."

"Thank you."

* * *

Tommy trudged down the stairs. There was something special about Sasha.

And he couldn't help but smile.

* * *

Onward we go~


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

* * *

"This is different," Kristin muttered, staring around her new apartment. "I haven't lived with non-family since dorm days."

"It takes a little getting used to, but living together was great when you were sick, and when you had nightmares, and when one of us was lonely. We spent every night together anyway, and we were going to move in together eventually."

"I know, but it's still strange."

"I feel like I should be entertaining you," Maureen said. Kristin stood in front of her for a momen

"Well," Kristin said seductively. "I can think of a few ways to entertain." Kristin straddled Maureen's legs and kissed her deeply.

"PG-13 just went out the window."

"Goodbye," Kristin responded before kissing Maureen again. Maureen, for her part, part showed great restraint as she only let her hands slip under Kristin's shirt by a half an inch. Kristin moaned into the kiss and felt herself letting go farther.

"Is the slow pace going with the rating?" Kristin backed off slightly.

"I....I don't know. I feel like I'm pulled in two directions, but this is where the arrow is pointing to."

"Kristi," Maureen said, very softly. "I don't want you to feel like we have to have sex because we live together. You wanted to take this slow, and you have good reasons for it. While I don't understand them, I respect them."

"Do you want me to get off of your lap?"

"Loaded question. What do you want? Deep in your heart, what do you really want?" Kristin bit her lips and closed her eyes.

"You......"

"But.....?" Maureen offered, straightening the cross that Kristin wore.

"But I don't want to go against God and His plans for me."

"How do you know this isn't His plan?"

"I pray, and I feel like we're meant to be together, but I.....my family is trying to be understanding and supportive, but they don't understand how I could ever be attracted to another woman."

"Put that up front for a moment. You've told me how important your family is to you. Would they shut you out?"

"Never. They would like to meet you, and get to know us as a couple. They don't understand it, but they support my happiness. And they don't think it's wrong to be gay. I've never been taught that." Maureen knew exactly where to rub on Kristin's side, on her lower ribs; that excited her. "Maureen," she gasped. "You know that drives me crazy." As she spoke, her eyes closed and she leaned into Maureen's touch.

"Kristi," Maureen purred. "I could seduce you, and have you naked and moaning in less than a minute if I chose to. This," she said, speaking a bit more harshly than she intended. "This needs to be in your hands. Your mother, your friends, God-- no one can tell you how to feel. What do you feel-" Kristin cut her off by pulling her into a kiss that made Maureen's heart thump in her chest.

"Mo," she purred. "If you think you're the only one who can flirt and seduce, _boy are you off_." Kristin climbed off of Maureen's lap and headed into the kitchen with a book she'd been reading earlier, leaving Maureen speechless, and with slightly smeared lip-stick.

* * *

June 2003

"Aldo, I can't get Sasha out of my head," Tommy said, shoving his paper work to the side.

"So?"

"I think I want to ask her out," Tommy said.

"Talk to Kristin and Maureen first."

"Maureen isn't Sasha's keeper."

"Talk to them," Aldo urged.

"Sasha is a grown woman."

"Tommy, talk to Mo and Kristin." Aldo opened the one-way window, where Kristin sat typing. Without looking up, she waved at the mirror. "You really can't get away with anything here, can you?"

"Nope. I'll talk to them when Maureen brings Kristin lunch," Tommy decided as he sat at his desk.

"I would advise you to talk to Kristin alone."

"Why?"

"Maureen can be a little scarey."

"Good advice," Tommy decided.

"You need to be careful dating a girl with kids."

"Excuse me?"

"Its not just her involved. You'll get close to the kids, and if it doesn't work out, they'll lose a second daddy. Or if you and Sasha want to stay out late, she has to pay extra for a babysitter, and you still can't go back to her place." Aldo forlded his arms across his chest as he spoke. "Be careful dating this one, Tommy."

"I don't want to just date this girl. Aldo, you met her, and you know there's something there. The girls are great kids, and I wouldn't mind reading to Allie every night."

"And when she's 12 and about to get moody? Won't clean her room or do her homework? What about 16 and wants a car? Or when she's dating the wrong kind of guy? Or worse; the right kind of guy?" Tommy thought long and hard.

"Okay, that's a little much to think about, but when Sasha smiles at me, it's like...it's okay that Kassidy just drooled peas onto my jacket. It's okay that Allie is crying, if Sasha would just smile. And when I can make one of those little girls laugh-- man, Aldo, that's the best feeling."

"Is this an instant family, just add Tommy?"

"I don't want an instant family; I want to ask Sasha out, and take her and the girls someplace fun, where they can be kids, while we talk," Tommy stood and walked out of his office.

"Morning, Tommy."

"I want to ask out Sasha." Kristin started laughing. At first it was a shocked giggle, but it became a good solid belly laugh.

"Are you serious?"

"I want to take her and the girls someplace where they would have fun, and we can have a good time, too."

"Tommy, you can't do that to a woman coming off of a bad marriage. Your track record-"

"Screw my past."

"You apparently did!"

"I'm serious, Kristin. I really like Sasha, and I love the girls. I want.........I want to be part of that. I want to tuck those two in at night, and be with Sasha. I can't explain it, I just know that she's The One. The big 'The One,' that you want to marry the moment you meet."

"Including the two little bits of baggage? Allie and Kassidy-"

"Hey! They aren't baggage, they are two beautiful little girls, so watch it, Yancy!" He had never been angry at her, and it seemed like this was close.

"I think it would be a great idea for you to take them out." She smiled at him.

"I have an atrium in a new building not scheduled to be open to the public for another 2 weeks. I can take them there on Saturday, have a fancy lunch waiting-"

"Talk to her first, and find out what the girls like to eat. They might not eat fancy-smancy foods like you do."

"Good idea. Should I have a pony brought in? Or a whole petting zoo?"

"No. Just lunch and let the girls run around the atrium. Keep it simple."

* * *

"Maureen, I'm home!" Kristin called into the apartment.

"Did you tell Tommy it was okay to ask out my sister?!" Maureen accused as she walked in from the kitchen.

"His intentions are good-"

"I don't care! Its not up for you to decide!" Maureen yelled. Kristin looked at her for a moment, confused.

"Its not for you to decide either."

"She's my sister! You called him scum who only wanted your body!" Maureen was fuming. Kristin had never seen her so upset. "The last thing Sasha needs is a man who will trash her heart the way Ron did!"

"Tommy doesn't want to 'rock his world,' as he would any other woman, Maureen. He wants to taker her and the girls to lunch. He really cares about her and Allie and Kassidy. He's done a complete 180 this month since he met her."

"He's going to hurt her," Maureen hissed. "He's going to cheat on her, or walk out on her, and its going to be on your head." Maureen stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door.

Kristin hadn't even set her purse down and still managed her first fight with her girlfriend. Maureen was so angry at her, and it was frightening. Kristin knew she wasn't in any danger, except danger of losing Maureen, and that scared her.

Deeply.

She began to have trouble breathing. She took slow, deep breaths, and eventually, they turned into near-silent sobs. She stood there by the door, unsure of what to do. Maureen had yelled at her, and walked away.

Eventually, she curled up on the couch and cried until she fell asleep.

* * *

Maureen waited for her girlfriend to follow her into the bedroom to either yell back or defend herself. After an hour, when Kristin hadn't come in, she peeked out, and saw Kristin curled up, asleep on the couch, with tears staining her cheeks. Joanne would have fought back, and Maureen had come to realize that Kristin and Joanne were so very different. They would have to relate differently.

"Kristi?" Maureen murmured, gently stroking the light hair. Kristin stirred. "Baby, wake up."

"Mo?"

"Baby, I'm sorry I yelled. I'm over-protective of my little sister, and I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm sorry." Maureen kissed Kristin's head and snuggled onto the couch with her. "I am so sorry, sweetheart."

"You aren't breaking up with me?" Kristin whispered.

"Never. I love you. No matter how many times my temper gets the best of me, I wouldn't leave you. I'm sorry you thought that, Kristi." Maureen stood and held out her hand. Kristin took it and stood. Maureen lead her into the bedroom. She kissed the shorter woman as she laid her back on the bed. "I want you to feel loved, and I want you to feel needed."

"What if I'm not good-"

"We'll learn each other's bodies together, sweetie," she whispered as she kissed Kristin's neck, and unbuttoned the blouse she wore. "You're shaking."

"I'm....I'm a little nervous."

"Does this feel wrong, sweetie?"

"I....I don't think....I'm not sure." Maureen pulled Kristin's hand to her own breast, and Kristin inhaled sharply at its feel.

"Do you like how that feels?"

"Very much." Kristin caressed the breast in her hands, getting out as much as she was putting into the massage. Maureen gasped as Kristin kissed her, tongue teasing her bottom lip. "And you like this.....?"

"Very much." Maureen tangled her hands into Kristin's hair and straddled her hips. She kissed the smaller woman. "Do you want me to stop?" Maureen asked as she cupped Kristin's breast. Kristin sucked in a gasp, wanting Maureen to do it again.

"No," Kristin moaned. "Don't stop, Maureen." Their lips met hungrily as they pulled at each other's clothes.

* * *

If you were hoping for more, my mother reads my work, so you won't get too much more outa me. Sorry.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

* * *

Author's Note: This is the chapter that may piss some of you off. If it does, you may e mail me, tell me why in a clean-language e mail. If you swear at me with every other word, then I have something skinny, white and Irish that you can kiss once I stand up and am not using it. If you review with flames, I will NOT remove the story, don't ask, but there are going to be more Cheno fans who agree with me that there are a million wonderful Christian folks who are kind, but there are also some close-minded, self-righteous people who assume that they are correct and everyone MUST Live by their standards. I SUPPORT Gay Marriage, I SUPPORT Christianity, I SUPPORT Kristin Chenoweth going on 700-Club and shaking things up a bit! And if by some major act of God, Kristin is reading this, and hasn't thrown up; There are Christian people who made me afraid of church, and Kristin Chenoweth is one who made me want to go back; the supportive, kind-hearted, non-hater itty bitty Blonde **_CAN _**change the world!

* * *

Author's Note 2: Thank you to my amazing Beta, I-Stalk-Espinosa-xo, wihtout whom this chapter would make no sense. You are a rare talent in the world of fan fiction, and a patient friend. Thank you. Special thanks to my husband as well, without whom this would be scribbled_ in_ a note book, not type _on_ a Notebook.

* * *

Kristin felt arms wrap her up and hands on her back, gently rubbing, waking her up. She smiled as the night before flooded her memory. "Maureen," she purred. "My love, I need to go to work."

"Can you call in sick?"

"I would love to, but Tommy would hunt me down with a thermometer, Aspirin and a personal nurse." Maureen tilted Kristin's head up to meet her eyes before kissing her gently.

"Are you okay with last night, baby?"

"Last night was special, Maureen," Kristin whispered, pulling the blankets up over her naked body.

"It was."

"Mo, last night was something I had never imagined. Even after we started dating, this never entered my thoughts."

"And?"

"It was amazing, sweetheart. I didn't know anything could feel so..."

"So sexy?" Kristin nodded and bit her lip. "So good?" Another nod.

"It felt so..."

"So what, baby?"

"I didn't know anything could feel so right." Kristin kissed her deeply and snuggled into her arms, soaking in the feel of the naked woman in her arms. "I'm really happy right here with you."

"Kristin, I love you...so much."

"I love you, too."

"Saying that is really hard for me, so if I don't say it enough, remember this moment, right here," she said pulling Kristin closer. "I am so in love with you, Kristi, and I love you with all of my heart," she said, and then kissed her deeply.

"I'm going to be late."

"Do you care about being on time?" Maureen asked.

"Not today, I don't." Kristin pushed Maureen onto her back and kissed her.

* * *

Kristin sat behind her desk. She couldn't tell if the one-way mirror was opened, but she hoped to hell it wasn't. She was forty-five minutes late, wearing a smile that Tommy and Aldo would be able to read in an instant; and her mother was flying in that night.

"Hello, Smiley," Santa said, eying Kristin carefully.

"Good morning."

"I know that smile! You got some last night! And...wait...this morning, too!"

"Yes, Santa, I had a good morning. Drop it."

"By that glow and that smile, I'd say you had a great night and morning."

"Santa, I need some advice."

"Okay."

"Last night.....and this morning, I..." Kristin trailed off and bit her lip nervously. "I..."

"Had more fun than you have in the past?" the woman teased.

"Much more." Kristin blushed and smiled.

"You've been with this girl for three months and you just now--"

"I wanted to take things slow!" Kristin said defiantly.

"Was it worth the wait?"

"I can't answer that without blushing!"

"Who would've thought, goody-goody's a lesbian!" Santa teased. Kristin sighed. "Is something wrong?"

"I don't know. I'd never...._gotten there_ before. Is it supposed to feel like that!?" she squeaked.

"Did it feel like your entire body was ready to explode, and that a million sparklers were lit just under your skin...but not in a bad way?" Santa asked. Kristin turned bright red and nodded.

"About 5 times."

"Damn, girl, maybe I should switch teams!" Santa teased. She tossed her dark-brown hair over her shoulder. "Have you ever been with a man before?"

"Yes..."

"Mr. Monkey?"

"No! I was engaged when I was 20."

"And?"

"It was yucky. It hurt, a lot, and I really didn't have a whole lot of fun. I thought I was in love. I called off the wedding after that." Kristin looked away and sighed.

"And he was it?"

"Well...no. I was with one other guy, but it wasn't any better. We were 25, and had just moved up here. He...couldn't. He came out a few months later. He and I are still best friends, but neither of us wanted more than that. I guess it felt forced for both of us." Santa nodded.

"What about Maureen?" Santa asked.

"What I had with Maureen....I have never had with anyone else."

"Did you like it?"

"Oh my good God, yes."

"Kristin, are you okay with being a lesbian?"

"I am trying to be, but something is still holding me back, and I don't know what."

"You're a church-goer. Did you talk to your Reverend?"

"I have, and he can't support me. I've been asked to find another church," Kristin whimpered.

"Oh, honey," Santa said, pulling Kristin into a hug. "Your problem isn't with Maureen, sweetie. It's with God and church. Those two aren't the same thing, and you need to separate church from God, honey. Let me tell you; some of these 'Christians' have more hate in them than I saw in street gangs in the Bronx. They don't act very Christian if you disagree."

"Aldo's brother is gay and found a really good church in town."

"Aldo doesn't have a brother." Kristin stared at Santa.

"He doesn't?"

"Aldo is an only child."

* * *

"Here we go," Tommy said, opening the door to Sasha's apartment, Kassidy asleep in her arms, and Allie in his. After they put the girls in their bedroom, Tommy went to the door. "Sasha, I had a wonderful time today."

"So did we." She tried to wipe the cheese crackers from his jacket.

"Its okay, I can clean it later. Besides, I kinda like cheese crackers." Sasha laughed, and Tommy gently tucked a curl behind her ear. "As I was saying, I had a great time."

"Tommy," she said, pulling back a little. "I need to know if this is going anywhere, or--" Tommy smiled warmly and took her hands.

"I don't play games with people, and I don't walk away from people I care about." He kissed her hand where their fingers laced together. "I have never met anyone like you, Sasha. You make me feel like a better person than I thought I could be."

"And the girls?"

"I'm crazy about the girls!"

"They like you, too," Sasha admitted.

"They make me feel...protective, I guess. When I read to Allie, or play with the two of them, I feel like I...I feel like its where I'm supposed to be. Like...I love the girls. I want to date you, I want to get to know you. Not just you--you with me, and you with them. Man, I am doing this wro--" Sasha stood on her tip-toes and pulled Tommy to meet him in a kiss. When she let him go, he looked shocked. Happy, but shocked.

"Rule number one: we are taking this slow. Rule number two: if you ever consider hurting me or the girls, Maureen will probably hurt, maim, or kill you. Rule number three: I know you have money. You know I don't have much, being a secretary. I will pay for the girls' things as they need them."

"I can follow those, but I have my own rules. Number one: there will be things that I want to take you and the girls to, such as a weekend at Disney. They can be discussed before-hand. Number two: Maureen scares the B'Jesus out of me, so pissing her off is the top of my list of things I do not want to do. Number three: I have never wanted to be serious with anyone before. I have never really cared about anyone before. I care about you, and I would do anything to keep you and those little girls happy. If you need to go slow, I'll be like a turtle."

"I can live with this," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. Tommy leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yep."

"Fantastic," he said, kissing her again. "Good night, Sasha."

"Goodnight."

"See ya."

"Bye," she whispered, kissing him again.

"Night."

"You might have to actually leave before you can come back," Sasha giggled.

"You need to go inside before I walk away from the door. And you have to let go before you can go inside, Sash." Tommy kissed her again. "I'll see you tomorrow." Sasha slipped out of his arms and took a step back into the apartment. As soon as the door was closed and locked, Tommy rested his hand against it, wanting badly to go in and hold Sasha.

* * *

"Aldo," called Kristin's soft voice. Aldo, who was sitting in Tommy's chair, waved her in. "How many years has Tommy known you?"

"Since high school."

"Has he ever met your older brother?"

"No," Aldo continued with his paper work, not even looking up.

"What about Santa?" Aldo stopped writing and put the pen down. He swallowed hard and looked up. "She's known you a lot longer."

"Kristin," Aldo started.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, with a mixture of hurt and sympathy filling her voice.

"I'm not ready to tell Tommy. I don't know if I'll ever be."

"Are you in love with Tommy?"

"What? No!" Aldo pulled a picture out of his wallet. "This is Jack. He lives in Queens, oddly enough. We've been together about four months."

"But you still didn't tell me."

"I was going to when you came to church. You'd have known for almost a month if you'd come to church." Kristin hugged Aldo.

"It's not easy, is it?" she asked.

"No."

"But it's good to know you aren't alone?" Kristin let go of the man and looked into his eyes. "Its good to know that I'm not the only one trying to figure out something this big."

"I'm glad I could be here for you."

"Tell your best friend." Aldo nodded and Kristin grinned. "Now, I have to leave. My mother is flying in tonight."

"Good luck with that. See you on Sunday?"

"You betcha."

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry it took me so long to post. We have had one helluva week. The following chapters should come more quickly.


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

* * *

Maureen had cleaned the apartment as though an obsessive compulsive neat-freak lived there. Mark's Alcove even had new sheets on the bed. She smiled as she looked around at the place, proud of herself. She even picked up dinner from an Italian place near her auditions that afternoon.

"Maureen, sweetie, we're home!" Called the soft voice. Maureen smiled to herself, looked in the bathroom mirror once more before she stepped into the living room.

"Hey, baby!" Maureen said as Kristin kissed her cheek.

"Maureen, this my mom, Jeannie Yancy."

"Hi," Maureen said, reaching out a hand.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet Maureen Johnson," Kristin started. "My girlfriend."

"Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Yancy."

"Charmed." Jeannie breezed past, leaving Maureen's open hand. "I liked your other apartment better."

"I thought you were going to be supportive."

"And then I saw the neighborhood you live in."

"Mom, I love the people here, I love Maureen, and I love you. I found a church that can accept my relationship, and I'm happy." Her mother sighed.

"I'm trying, honey. I was hoping for more grandchildren-"

"It's not impossible. My cousin, Kate, and her life partner have three children." Jeannie shot a glare at her. Kristin held her breath as Maureen set her jaw.

"I don't believe I asked you."

"Hang on a minute here. You are Kristin's mother, and I am her girlfriend. The last thing we should be doing is fighting. I won't fight with you. Not in Kristin's home. Not in my home. Either we learn to get along, or I can hail a cab for you. There will be no fighting. Not in this apartment." Her voice was soft, but very commanding, and almost daring.

There was dead silence for a few moments.

"I like a girl who knows what to believe in." Kristin let herself breathe.

"Mama, we set you up in the guest alcove."

"I'm going to the corner to pick up milk," Maureen said, pulling on her jacket. As soon as the door slid closed, Kristin pulled her mother into the alcove.

"Mom, I would like you to know one or two things. These pictures are very precious, and they are irreplaceable. She's the only one in this picture who is still alive. Joanne," she started, pointing to the slim black woman; "Joanne was her life-partner. She died of cancer ten years ago. Mark was hit by a truck about two years ago. Angel and Collins were partners, and both died of AIDS. Angel got it from an ex, and Collins got it from a blood transfusion in the eighties. Roger and Mimi were together, and they also died of AIDS. He got it from his girlfriend, who got it from a needle, and Mimi got it from a man she dated before Roger."

"Kristin, are you two going to be safe?"

"Maureen doesn't have AIDS. She's never done drugs through a needle, hasn't been with anyone since Joanne died, and before Joanne, it was Mark. Only Mark. She was tested when she went to donate bone marrow to Joanne, and is completely clean. She was a big flirt, but never.......never went to bed with her flirty friends. Joanne was always paranoid, because Maureen cheated on Mark with Joanne." Kristin's mother rubbed her forehead and sat on the bed. "We're honest about our mistakes."

"And you can be happy with her mistakes?"

"I'm happy with her, Mom." Jeannie wrapped her arms around her daughter.

"This isn't the life I wanted for you, baby girl. But I don't get to make the choices for you. Kristi, I do not like this, and I want you to be with a man.

But if this is your choice, if this is what you know in your heart is right, I can be supportive."

* * *

"Baby," Maureen called into the apartment. Kristin's eyes sparkled as she smiled at the sound of Maureen's voice.

"I finished making the salad, and the lasagna is ready."

"Thanks. Milk?" Kristin pulled three glasses from the drying rack and

Maureen started pouring.

"Do you have a glass of wine?" Jeannie asked.

"Oh, I quit drinking as a New Year's resolution, and since Kristin doesn't either, we don't keep any in the house," Maureen said, glancing over her shoulder. Kristin's mother smiled. "Kris, why do I feel like I just passed a test?"

"I think you just did," Kristin whispered, touching her arm for a moment before bringing the milk to the table.

* * *

"Kristi, I haven't seen your room yet." Jeannie placed her dishes in the sink and looked around.

"Full tour; This is the kitchen and dining room. You've seen the living room and Mark's alcove." Kristin led her mother to the lone bedroom, with its small bathroom.

"Is this yours or hers?"

"Ours." Jeannie stared at her daughter a moment. "Mom-"

"I assumed you had your own room, Kristin. I knew you lived together, but you share a room? A Bed? No!"

"But Mama," Kristin started.

"No." Jeannie turned on a heal and stormed into the alcove. "I can be supportive of this to a certain point. You, living with a woman. You, in love with a woman. But you are living with her, sharing a bed, and you are not married!"

"It's not-"

"You have a church, get married there. Married, joined, something with a freakin' ring! As long as that finger is naked, YOU SHOULDN'T BE!" She picked up her bags and started for the door. "Kristin, this can't happen. I can not support this. You need to be whatever is the equivalent of married if you are going to live here the way you are." She turned and left the building.

There was a long silence after the door slid shut with a loud thud.

"We could-"

"Maureen," she warned. "We are not getting joined to please my mother." Kristin sank onto the couch. Before she could let the first sob escape, Maureen's arms were around her. She cried into Maureen's shoulder.

"I was only going to suggest that we could go to your church on Sunday, and ask advice from the minister there. I'm certain that he's dealt with couples in our situation before."

"Really?" she sniffled

"Really. I'll even wear a skirt."

* * *

Tyrique, Tommy's bicycle messnger, knocked on the office door. When Aldo called him in, he glanced around the office.

"Where's Kristin?"

"Eh, her mother's flying in tonight," Aldo said, sitting at Tommy's desk.

"Meeting Maureen?" the black man asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh, that's not gonna go well. I can tell you that right now," he said. "I know how my mama would react. And this ain't going to be pretty. Give these to Tommy." Tyrique put a packet of papers on the desk.

"Thanks," Aldo said, opening the packet as Tyrique left. He flipped through them, only looking up when he heard the door open. "Tyrique dropped these off for you.

"Perfect."

"Tommy....we gotta talk."

"About?"

"About my brother."

"What about him? Come to think of it, I didn't even know you had a brother."

"I don't."

"So you lied to Kristin?"

"Not entirely. I lied to you." Tommy stared at Aldo for a moment.

"You're gay?"

"March in the parades and everything." Tommy stared at Aldo again. "I haven't officially come out yet, but I'm gay, have a boy friend, and we're pretty happy together. I want you to meet him."

"You're gay and you didn't tell me?"

"Look, it isn't easy-" Aldo started.

"I'm your best friend. You didn't trust me?"

"I didn't trust me, Tommy! I just met Jack last summer, and we started

dating two months ago. It's getting serious, and I really.....I care about him,

Tommy."

"So, what? Dinner? Lunch tomorrow? When do I meet this guy?"

"You're cool with this?"

"Aldo, you're like a brother to me. How could I be okay with Kristin, and not okay with you? If anything, Kristin is a little bit more to wrap my head around. Even after three months, I just have a hard time with that. I totally didn't see it coming, you know? She's too...Goody-goody to be a lesbian." Aldo shrugged. "I don't know why it is confusing. I'm happy for her, I just can't figure it ....I can see it."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Aldo asked defensively. Tommy thought for a moment.

"You're better at shopping than most guys."

"Hey! Watch it!"

"This from the guy who picks out most of my suits?" Tommy asked.

"Whatever."

"So, when?" Tommy asked, opening his calender.

"He's on a business trip in Seattle right now, but he'll be back in a couple of weeks."

"Fine. I still say the shopping should have given it away months ago," Tommy said, glancing over at his friend.

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry I'm posting a little slow; life is in the way. Thanks to my Beta for her patience! I-Stalk-Espinosa-xo, you helped so much! uRock.


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

* * *

Note: Kristin's mother's reaction was based directly on a conversation between my friend and her mother. Knowing her daughter was going to someday have sex with a woman, she could cope with. Finding out that it has already happened.....well....she flipped. Even after my hubbie and I moved in together when we were engaged to be married, my parents and his assumed we were keeping it PG-rated. (spam hit the fan when they found out other info!) My beta recommended I change the line, and I know she's right, as always, but it is how it happens with Mothers in Denial.

Thanks to my Beta. I-Stalk-Espinosa-xo is a fantastic beta, and I thank her, whole-heartedly.

Thanks to my friend, without whom Kristin's mother would be much less......interesting.

Thanks to my husband for making my life easier so I could write

Thanks to The Last Truffula Tree, and to my friend Lisa, for letting me rant about life, and the morons that are in it.

And Thanks to Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel for being two fantastic performers, musicians, actresses, women, and inspirations to all the little Broadway Wanna-Be's!

* * *

August 2003

Tommy handed the apple in his hands up to the child perched happily on his shoulders. She munched as they walked; Kassidy sleeping in the stroller in front of him.

It had been a little over a month since he and Sasha had started dating, and he enjoyed taking time off to just hang out with the girls. Sasha had a court date, to finalize custody of the girls.

"Auntie Maureen will like her gift."

"Yup," Allison said, handing down the apple.

"What do you call Kristin?"

"Aunt Kristin."

"Why?"

"She lives with Aunt Mo-ween." Tommy nodded and walked on.

"Mommy is meeting us for lunch soon," he said, taking a bite out of their snack. "Do you need to potty? We're right near my work, and Santa can take you."

"Nope."

"You're sure?"

"Yup."

"Okay." Tommy continued on.

Things were quiet for the 6 blocks until his building was lost in a sea of skyscrapers.

As they got to the cafe where Aldo, Jack, and Sasha were going to meet them, Tommy set Allison down at the table and ordered a water for himself, and a milk for her.

"I have to potty, Tommy!" A couple passed them as she made her announcement and chuckled.

"Can you hold it until Mommy gets here?"

"I gotta go bad!"

"You didn't have to ten minutes ago, sweetie."

"Sir, you can take her to the men's room--" the waiter suggested.

"Are you out of your friggin' mind? Urinals? Men with their-- No." Tommy lifted the sleeping toddler in one arm, and took Allison's hand. "The young lady would like to make use of your lady's room."

* * *

"Do I look all right?" Aldo asked as he stepped out of the cab.

"Very handsome."

"Biased."

"You look great, Ali." Jack straightened Aldo's tie and kissed his forehead. "Now let's go meet this boss." Aldo took his hand and headed into the cafe. There were several ladies standing in line at the bathroom.

"What's going on here?"

"There's a man in there with his daughter. He didn't want to take her into the men's room, so we're giving him some space." The woman looked amused.

"Hey, Tommy," Aldo called, knocking on the door. He opened and stepped in. From one of the stalls, he could hear:

"Good job, kiddo! Pull-up is still dry and everything!"

"Will Mommy give me a sticker?"

"Yep. Now pull those up, and we'll wash hands."

"Aw, you're all suburban," Aldo said, as Tommy left the stall.

"Cute. Take the baby?" Aldo carefully transferred Kassidy into his own arms and tucked the blanket around her. "Wash up," Tommy reminded.

"Is Mommy here?"

"Not yet, but soon."

"Where is Sasha?" Aldo asked.

"Court date."

"Special." Tommy dried Allie's hands and the four left the ladies' room. "Hey, she's waking up," Aldo said, handing the baby off.

"Hey there Kassie!" The baby rubbed her eyes and rested in Tommy's arms.

"Aldo," Jack called from the table where Kassidy's stroller waited.

"Tommy, this is Jack, my b-"

"Friend," Jack filled in, as Allie climbed into her seat. "Aldo, she's a baby."

"She's smart," Tommy warned. "Aldo and Jack are friends, Kiddo."

"Like Aunt Mo-ween and Aunt Kristin?" Tommy nodded. "Oh. Okay. I want grilled cheese."

"And there we have it; the three-year-old has figured it out."

* * *

Kristin looked over her sleeping lover, naked and tangled in the sheets of their bed.

Their bed.

Theirs.

She was part of a 'their.' It scared her. 'Their apartment.' 'Their friends.' 'Their cat.' (They had no cat, but if they did get one, it would be theirs.)

Kristin adored being one half of a 'their.' If things had gone better with her mother, she'd have been able to sleep in and go ahead with something that she had planned in May, when her mother was visiting. Three months, and she hadn't yet had the nerve to even attempt to get her basic plans into motion. The timing was never quite right.

Twelve years ago, Maureen would have been ready to run for the door; she'd done this anytime things got serious with Mark, and it continued into Joanne.

But with Kristin, things were different. Maureen was different.

"What are you doing up, baby?" Maureen mumbled, sliding one eyelid open.

"It's after noon, we should have been up hours ago."

"It's a mid-week day off! Live a little. Sleep!"

"I can't sleep this late. As soon as 6:45 rolls around, I'm up."

"What did you do all morning?"

"Laundry, dishes, organized the book shelf, and talked to my mom." Maureen sat up and opened her arms as Kristin decided to snuggle in. "She and Daddy are really angry."

"Baby, do you want to get married?"

"I don't want you to marry me for my p--"

"I am not asking for them. Sweetie, I love you. I love you for who you are, and who you were, and for who you will be. I'm asking you if you want to commit to me, in front of God, to be joined in His house and in His eyes."

"My parents have nothing to do with it?"

"They have to do with when I asked, not why I asked."

"Mo, I..." Kristin sighed.

"I know, baby," Maureen soothed, trying to mask her hurt feelings. "Things are moving pretty fast, aren't they?" Kristin nodded. Maureen tucked her in to an even tighter hug. "Kristi," she said after a long pause. "I want to commit to you. I want to be your wife. More than anything in the world, I want to be with you. If that isn't what you want, you really need to tell me now."

"It's what I want, Mo, but--"

"But what?" Maureen asked, pulling away.

"I...wanted...I wanted to be the one who asked you," she whimpered. "You have taken the lead in everything. I had my mom fly up here to meet you, and I was going to sneak you away for a romantic dinner and ask you. I got a gorgeous ring, and I didn't get the chance because you asked first," she sobbed.

"You--"

"I knew I was going to ask you the first time you kissed me," she cried. "And now the surprise is all wrong. I'm sorry I waited so long to ask, but I just wanted to do something really sweet for you since you always do so many things for me and for us and I want to marry you."

"Ring?" Kristin looked up into Maureen's tear-filled eyes. "You got me a ring?"

"A few days before my mom flew in."

"Are you serious?" Maureen said, smiling. "No way."

"I'm serious. It's in my dresser, under my tidy-whities." Kristin left the warm bed and padded to her dresser. She brushed tears from her cheeks as she pulled the box out. It was purple, velvet and small. "I knew," she started, crawling under the blankets. "I knew I wanted you, and that we were going to be together for the rest of our lives the first time you kissed me." She opened the box. "What I didn't know, Maureen, was how or when to ask you. I guess, like everything else, I needed a nudge from you."

"Oh my God," Maureen muttered. The ring was stunning; a white-gold band with a heart-shaped stone. "Kristi, it's..." she started, but stared at the little velvet box and its contents. She couldn't hold back the tears as they streamed down her cheeks. Kristin carefully took the ring from the box and took Maureen's hand.

"I'm going to assume the answer is 'yes,' Mo."

"Oh my God."

"Have I finally surprised you?" Maureen nodded and sniffled.

"Yes, you have. Yes, I will. Just...yes." Kristin slid the ring into its proper place, and kissed Maureen's hand. "What about you? Do you want a ring?"

"I didn't actually think about that. But we'll talk later. For now, let's just enjoy being engaged."

* * *

"Sasha," Tommy called into the apartment. He worried when it was unlocked. A man's voice could be heard. "Sasha, I'm home," he called in a booming voice, in hopes of intimidating whomever it was. He put Kassidy in her play yard in the living room and headed toward the voices.

"Tommy!" she called. Tommy pushed into the kitchen, where Sasha and a man stood. "Tommy, he wants the girls." She buried her head in his chest as he hugged her.

"Who is this loser?" the man asked.

"Thomas Ballintine."

"Nice. I'm Ron Douglas. Are you done playing house with my kids?"

"You signed them away, and buddy, you can't just waltz in here and unsign."

"Dada," Kassidy called from her play-yard. Ron shoved past Sasha into the living room.

"See? She wants her Dada." Ron picked the baby up, who squirmed and reached for Tommy.

"Dada!" she squealed. Tommy took her.

"Can you take her into the other room? I have something to say, and I don't want to say it in front of her." Tommy handed Kassidy to Sasha, and kissed the baby's forehead, and Sasha's cheek. As soon as the two were gone, Tommy stood tall.

"Well?"

"You haven't seen her since she was ten months old. She has no idea who you are._ I'm _the one who changes her diapers when Sasha needs a break. _I'm_ the one who held her little hands when she took her first steps to her mom. _I'm_ the one who tucks her in every single night, and _I_ am the one who will walk her down the aisle when she gets married. You walked out on the greatest woman you'll probably ever meet, and the two best kids on the planet, buddy. Now I suggest you continue with the habit and walk away…right now." Ron sized the man up. Tommy was taller, and looked twice the strength.

"They will always be my daughters."

"They may be your daughters, but they are _my_ girls. And I will be damned if I let you hurt them again. You got that?"

"We'll see you in court."

"Bring it on, buddy." Tommy grabbed the man by the coat, and dragged him to the door. "Thank you for stopping by, great to meet you, ya putz," he said, as he shoved Ron through the door and closed it. "Sash? Are you all right?" he asked, looking around the apartment.

"In here," she called from the bedroom. Tommy went in, and saw her rolling her sleeve up.

"Sweetie, did he hurt you?"

"He grabbed my arm, is all." There was a hand print-shaped bruise forming. Tommy pulled Sasha into his arms and held her.

"Do you need a doctor?"

"No." Sasha sat back on the bed and wiped her cheeks.

"Sweetie, we need to go to the police station, and have this documented. He grabbed you, and might try to get the girls."

"Tommy, where's Allison?"

"Maureen and Kristin took her for the afternoon."

"What if he tries--" Tommy pulled her into a hug.

"Hey, Maureen'll keep her away from him. I promise," Tommy whispered, holding Sasha to his chest.

"I'm scared."

"Okay. I'm going to call them to take Kassie, and then I'm going to call the police to come get a statement. All right?" Sasha nodded, still hugging tightly to him. "Do you want to lay down for a while?" She nodded again and let go. Tommy pulled a quilt over her as she stretched out. "I'll take care of you, Sasha. You don't have to worry about him anymore."

"Thank you," she whispered.

* * *


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

* * *

Kristin rocked the 16-month-old baby in her arms, hoping that Sasha was going to be okay. Maureen had calmed down, was now only seething. When they picked up Kassidy, she was borderline psychotic with rage. She knew someone had hurt her little sister, and that person would be in more trouble than they'd ever known if she ever saw them again.

Maureen was curled up on Mark's bed, staring at Roger's guitar. It was her place to sit and reflect, to remember, and to grieve. One of Angel's wigs was on the dresser next to Mark's old camera. She had Collins' coat in the closet. Joanne's favorite book was on the night stand. It was their space. She went there to feel them.

"Mo?"

"I miss them." Kristin put the toddler into her play yard with the toys they kept for her. She went into the alcove where Maureen lay, curled up, and sat on the bed. "They loved Sasha, and wouldn't have let it get to this."

"Tommy loves Sasha. So do Aldo, Jack, and I. Santa is getting to know her, and Tyrique thinks the world of you and her. I know we're poor stand-ins, but-" Maureen couldn't contain a small laugh.

"Collins and Angel, Aldo and Jack. Roger and Mimi, Tommy and Sasha, Me and Joanne, Me and You. Mark, Tyrique - bicycle and everything. Its like people are replacing them," she laughed, cynically.

"I did not replace Joanne," Kristin said, firmly. "She will always be in your life, Maureen. So will Mark. So will Angel and Collins, Roger and Mimi, and I, Tommy, Aldo, Jack, Santa, and Tyrique."

"I miss them so much, Kristi."

"I've never met them, but you talk about them so much, I feel like I do know them," Kristin said, curling up around Maureen's back. "What's got all this coming out now, Mo?"

"They'll never get married. Mark asked me to marry him once, and I asked Joanne, but they never had that. They never had the excitement of saying 'my fiancee.' And they never will. Every joy in my life will be a reminder that the people I loved will never have that."

"But they will still be here."

"No, Kristin, they aren't. I know you believe that they are watching from above, but I don't feel like they are. And if they are, they would be so sad. Sad that Sasha's life isn't perfect, that it took me ten years to move on, horrified by what happened in this city two years ago."

"Happy that you did move on, happy that Sasha has people who will defend and protect her and the girls, happy that so many people helped each other when it came time. They would be happy that you are in this room, in his bed, sharing the love with me that they gave you." Maureen turned in her arms. "They would be thrilled that you brought laughter into this apartment. Angel would love that you told my mother that there would be no fighting here."

"She would."

"Joanne would love that you sing in the shower." Maureen nodded and sniffled. "Mark would love all the videos you take of the girls at the park. Collins would love how you read to Allie and Kassidy. Roger and Mimi would be proud of you for giving up alcohol."

"Nine months, and not a drop," Maureen sniffled. "My last drink was the night I met you."

"Do you remember what you said to me?"

"I called you 'Betty Bible-Beater,' and almost made you cry."

"And you still won my heart, Mo."

"Aunt Mo-ween?" Allie called from the living room. "Its over." She pointed to the television, where Little Einsteins were talking about art of the day. She scampered in, making her dark curls bounce. Her feety pajamas were a size too big, and the sound they made when she ran made Kristin laugh.

"Hi baby girl."

"Hi." Allison climbed up onto the bed and wedged herself between Kristin and Maureen. "Where is Mama and Tommy?" she asked Kristin

"Busy."

"Oh. Is it 'cause of Daddy?" Kristin looked at Maureen. She heard and understood everything they said in the cab ride from Sasha's place to Kristin and Maureen's.

"Baby girl, its starting to get late. Do you want to sleep here or with us?"

"Here with you."

"I'm going to change Kassidy's diaper and put her to bed before we turn in," Kristin laughed and left the alcove.

"You know how to do that?"

"Of course I know how to change a diaper."

"We've been together for 6 months, and you've never changed a diaper."

"Not when I can avoid it by faking ignorance." She smiled sweetly and picked up the baby. "Hey there, little bit."

Maureen watched Kristin change the baby, talking to her and tickling her ribs to keep her from crying. Allison climbed over her aunt and snuggled in under the blankets. She put her thumb in her mouth and snuggled closer to Maureen.

Kristin emptied the toys from the play yard and put Kassidy in. She sang softly as she turned off most of the lights in the apartment. When Kassidy fussed, Kristin leaned into the play yard and stroked her hair as she sang.

It took nearly an hour to get Kassidy to sleep, but Maureen loved watching Kristin with her. Allie had drifted off in Maureens arms quickly.

"Hey," Maureen whispered when her fiance went back into the alcove.

"Is she-"

"Completely out. Let's go to our room."

"You told her we'd sleep here."

"She kicks." Maureen slipped out of the bed and tucked her neice in carefully before taking Kristin's hand. She pulled her back into the bedroom and kissed her deeply. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"Loving me."

* * *

"Move into one of my buildings." Tommy stared out the window into the street below. The officer had been there most of the night, trying to talk to Sasha about moving to a building with better security. She refused. He left around 4:00. An hour later, Tommy was still trying to convince Sasha that the officer was correct.

"I can't-"

"Okay, I understand that you don't want to be completely dependant on me for what you and the girls need. So," he said, taking a deep breath. "My next building will have three floors of apartments for single mothers. The condos sold on every other floor will cover the cost of maintaining low rent. They'll be just as fancy as the rest, so no one will know the difference-"

"I'm not going to run away from him. I'm not a coward."

"Then I'm buying the building and putting in more security."

"Tommy! You're over-reacting."

"I don't want anything to happen to you or the girls, Sasha," he said firmly. "Whatever it take to protect you, I'll do."

"Why?"

"I'm hooked. You're pretty damn special, Sash, and I'm in-love with you. I love you, I love those little girls, and I want.....I need to know you're safe. I love that Kristin and Mo have them safely tucked away right now. I love that Kassie called me Daddy. I love that I get to tuck Allie in at night and read to her. I love holding you at night.

"And I want you to move in with me. I have a big place, the girls will have their own rooms. I want you to move in with me, and share my life. I spend almost every night here, and you spend every weekend at my place. It would make sense for you to live with me," he finished. Sasha tucked herself into his arms. Tommy kissed the top of her head. "Will you move in with me?"

"I just finished unpacking here," she whined.

"I'll have people here tomorrow. By the times you get back from lunch, everything will be packed and loaded into a truck. Except that cirb; that'll take a week to take apart." Sasha laughed. Tomy felt moisture on his shirt and tilted Sasha's head up. "What's going on?"

"Its just a lot to take in." She sniffled as he brushed the tears from her cheeks. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"So....." she said. "You still need to meet my parents."

"I do, don't I."

"We've been together for 3 months, Kassidy has officially decided you are Daddy. Meeting my parents seems like a great idea." Tommy nodded and kissed Sasha. His heart beat hard as he felt her tongue teased his lip.

"I can have people moving you in an hour...."

"I think we'll be slightly preoccupied," she said, pulling him toward the bed.

"More than slightly."

* * *

"MOMMY!" Allie screamed at just before 7 in the morning. Kristin fell out of the bed pulled on a bath robe, and dashed into the living room, to Mark's alcove.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"I want my mommy!" the three-year-old wailed. Kassidy started to cry from the play-yard. Kristin lifted the toddler up and hurried back to the alcove.

"Mommy and Tommy will be here in a couple of hours, Sweetie."

"I want her now!" She reached for Kristin, who sat on the couch with the two crying girls.

"What's wrong, baby?" Maureen asked, rushing into the alcove. Kassidy lunged for her aunt, popped her thumb into her mouth and rested her head on Maureen's shoulder.

"She wants Mommy."

"Ah. Divide and conquer. I'll take care of them if you fix...oh....chocolate chip pancakes?" Allie stopped crying suddenly.

"With whip cream?"

"Of course," Kristin confirmed, heading into the kitchen.

"Now," Maureen said, cuddling Kassidy and Allie on her lap, kissing each one's curly hair. "No more tears?" Allie sniffled. "Chocolate chip pancakes, and a big cup of milk sound pretty great, don't they?" Allie nodded.

"I want Mama."

"Baby, did you have a bad dream?" Allie nodded. "What happened?"

"Daddy wouldn't let Tommy be Mommy's friend."

"Oh, Daddy can't make Tommy stop loving you or Mommy. Tommy is too strong to let Daddy do that," Maureen told her.

"He's super strong."

"Super Tommy."

"If I don't see Daddy anymore, who will be my Daddy?" Allie asked. Maureen set Kassidy down on the couch and lifted Allie up onto her lap.

"You don't need a daddy. You have Mommy, me, Aunt Kristin, Grandma and Grandpa, Tommy, Uncle Aldo, Uncle Jack, and Tyrique."

"And Uncle Mark, and Aunt Angel, and Uncle Collins, and Uncle Roger-" Allison listed.

"And Aunt Mimi."

"And Joanne."

"And Joanne," Maureen echoed. "You have so many people who love you. Some here, and some who watch you and love you from heaven." Allie bit her lip.

"No one is Daddy, though." There was a knock at the door before it opened. "Mommy!" Allie dashed toward the door, and skidded to a stop when a tall black man stepped in. "AUNT MO-WEEN!" she screamed, running back.

"Benny! For the love of Christ! Give me the damn key," she hissed.

"Maureen," he said, politely. "Its good to see you, too." He glanced into the kitchen area when the mixer started. "Hello."

"Kristin, this is Benny. He's the slime-ball landloard."

"Maureen!" Kristin gasped.

"Relax. We have a good 15-year-long loathing for one another," Maureen explained. "He's never forgiven me for getting him into trouble with rich father-in-law. How's Muffy?"

"For the love of- Her name is Allison."

"There is only one Allison in my life," Maureen said, putting Kassidy in her high chair and lifting Allie onto her hip. "And _she_ is my Allison."

"Hi, cutie." Allison hid into Maureen's neck.

"She's shy. What do you want, Benny."

"I think you know. You asked to add someone onto the lease. I want to meet her." Maureen rolled her eyes. "Look, all history aside, I want to make sure we don't have the Bohemian situation that we had in the 90's. I don't want to watch you run another little hospital for AIDS patients here."

"What?" Kristin screeched. "Are you telling me that you are here to make sure I'm not sick?" Benny held up his hand and opened his mouth. "NO!" Kristin spat. Benny closed his mouth. "I am healthy, clean, don't drink, don't do drugs, and do Not answer to a man who cheated on his wife, and constantly hit on Maureen and Joanne. I do not owe you an answer after you tried to evict a man dying of AIDS, or had the cops arrest homeless people for protesting destruction of the only place they could live."

"I see you gave her a history lesson." He cleared his throat. "I don't want to watch Maureen bury another friend. I'm here for her, believe it or not."

"Thanks, but I really don't need you to keep tabs on my love-life," Maureen said, glaring at him. "What my fiance and I do is private." Kristin grinned and padded back into the kitchen.

"Cute. _Short,_ but cute."

"And sassy as hell."

"I don't want to see you hurt anymore, Mo," Benny said, softly. "You, Roger, Collins and Mark were, at one time, my best friends."

"And then you left us for money."

"I tried to help this who neighborhood-"

"By building over a tent city. Not even Tommy Ballintine would have ever done that."

"How would you know? He's not the most...ethical man."

"Tommy is Kristin's boss and Sasha's boyfriend," Maureen informed him.

"Special."

"You have what you came here for. So will you be leaving soon?"

"Subtle."

"Goodbye," she said, pushing him toward the door. She closed it on him and headed back into the kitchen. "Smells fantastic."

"First one is for Little Cuties." She put a plate on the table with half a pancake, and the other half on Kassie's high chair. She kissed Maureen before going back to the kitchen.

"I feel domestic," Maureen said, resting her chin on the half wall that partitioned the kitchen. "Is this what life is going to be like for us?"

"Nope."

"It won't be like this?"

"It'll be better. We'll have these two spend the night and they'll have breakfast with our kids. We'll make pancakes with chocolate chips for the kids, and you and I will have coffee until Tommy and Sasha pick the whole lot up to go to the park for the day." Kristin grinned over her shoulder and flipped another pancake. "The only thing better is me, you, these two, and one or two of our own."

"I love you," Maureen sniffled.


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

Note: Holy hell, it has been almost 3 months since i updated!! So sorry; its been busy. Between 3 kids in my care full time, voice class, piano class, a husband who likes to to see me upon occasion, two pet rats, and being sick all the damn time, writing has got bye-bye. Well, kids are napping at the same time now, the rats have stopped trying to escape, i have set practice times for music, chris is working over-time, and the IV is gone, (thanks stomach flu on crack!) I can post today!! YaY!!! And watch Youtube!!!! (Potter Puppet Pals: what is that mysterious ticking noise? snape...snape....severus snape.......)

* * *

"Grandma!" Allie chirped standing up in her chair. Nancy kissed the little girl's head and wiped milk from her lip. "Aunt Kristin made chocolate pancakes at breakfast and jelly toast for lunch."

"Your favorite," Nancy commented, sitting the child back into her seat. "Maureen, why do you have them again? Is Sasha all right?"

"Aunt Mo-ween says Daddy's a moron and-"

"Thank you, Maureen," Nancy sighed and rubbed her forehead. "You can't even pretent to like him?" Maureen pulled her mother into the alcove.

"He threatened Sasha, and Tommy had to haul him out of the apartment. He put a bruise on her, and he is damn lucky Tommy got there before I did."

"Tommy?"

"Sasha's been dating him for a couple of months," Maureen said softly. She didn't know that Sasha had not told their mother about Tommy.

"Oh, Lord."

"Mom, he's good to her and to the girls."

"Right now he is. What about six months from now-"

"He's a friend of Kristin's, and I certainly intimidate the hell out of him. He's a good guy." Nancy bit her bottom lip disapprovingly. "Look, I called you over to let you know that there's good news."

"What good news?" Maureen smiled at her mother and pulled her into the living room.

"Kristin asked me to commit to her." Nancy's eye-brow shot up.

"Oh congratulations, dear!" Nancy said, hugging her daughter. "How does this work?"

"Well," Kristin said leaning on the partition. "We can't be legally married, but we'll have a ceremony, and be married in the eyes of God. We'll be life partners."

"Oh, yes! Like you and Joanne planned off and on?"

"No, Mother. For one, Kristin isn't going to break up with me at the engagement party because a woman in rubber flirts with me. Two, she's....Mom, she's different. I dare you to find someone who will love me the way she does."

"Mark did."

"Mark's a man, Mom, and he's gone. And more importantly, I didn't love him," Maureen reminded her mother.

"And most importantly," Kristin filled in. "She is my soul-mate."

"Hey, Soul-mate, lunch is smoking." Kristin squeaked and moved back to the stove. Maureen laughed as she watched her lover dump the blackened grilled cheese sandwich into the sink. "God, she is cute as hell." Maureen watched a few more minutes while Kristin resumed cooking.

"When did she ask?"

"Yesterday before Curly got here." Maureen showed her hand to her mother. "She got me a ring, Mom."

"Oh, my! Maureen, its beautiful!" Nancy admired the ring in the light, smiling until Kristin's voice pulled her back to Earth.

"Grilled cheese?" Kristin asked, handing a plate to Nancy. Her cell phone rang on the counter. "Oh, its my mom. I'm going to take this in the bedroom." She stood on her tip-toes and kissed Maureen's cheek before dashing into the bedroom with her phone.

"Mo, she's so perfect for you."

* * *

"We don't need it, Tommy!" Sasha laughed as they walked through the children's furniture displays.

"I want to."

"They have beds."

"Ah, but does Allie have a white Princess Castle bunk bed with purple satin sheets?"

"No, and she is too little for one," Sasha told him. Tommy sighed. "When she's 6. Why does she need a new bed today?"

"The toddler bed is too little for her, and she can have any bedroom set in the store." Sasha stopped smiling. "I know you aren't comfortable with me buying a lot of stuff for you and the girls, but they need new beds. You have to admit that they need new beds. Kassie's got packing tape holding her crib together, and Allie's feet touch the foot board."

"I can provide for my children."

"And I can provide for our family, Sasha. I'm not doing this because you can't. I'm doing this because I can. Three months isn't long, but long enough for Kassie to call me Daddy yesterday." Tommy sat on one of the beds in the children's section of the furniture store. "I'm going to buy them each a new bed to put in their new room. It doesn't have to be the most expensive bed in the store. It has to be the right size, and it has to be at least a little nice. I want to, for them, since I'm making them move just as they are making friends."

"Okay."

"Great."

"I'm picking out the bed sheets. You'll have them in silk," Sasha told him.

"Nice and smooth."

"And how do you expect to get pee, throw-up, and magic marker out of these silk sheets?"

"Cotton it is," he gave. He followed her through the store and gauged her reactions to various bedroom sets. "Oh, this is nice," he said, seeing her bite her lip and pause by one room set.

"Its expensive."

"Not too bad, and apparently the bunk bed comes apart to two twin beds." Sasha bit her lip again. "When Kassie's a little older, they can share the room."

"Seems logical."

"All right, then, Spock. How about this; I'll buy the girls this bedroom set, and a crib for Kassie that matches." Tommy turned and looked at the furniture again. "When Kassie is big enough, they share the room, and we'll...I dunno....I guess we'll save the crib for our kids." Tommy felt arms around his waist. "I said the right thing again, didn't I?"

"Yes."

"I love it when I do that. Is this the one?" he asked.

"Yes." Tommy nodded and stared at the bedroom set. He hoped Allie would love it.

* * *

"Kristin?" Nancy called into the bedroom. Kristin had gone back to talk to her mother over 2 hours ago, and Maureen was busy with the girls. Nancy peeked in and sighed when she saw Kristin curled up, crying. "Oh, honey, what's the matter?"

"My.....my mom isn't...She doesn't...."

"She doesn't accept Maureen yet, does she," Nancy soothed as she sat on the bed. Kristin shook her head.

"I feel like such a child."

"To me, you are. You're 27?"

"Try 30."

"So young." Nancy touched her hair. "You have such soft hair, Kristi. Not like Maureen's. My girls have thick curly hair, like their father when he doesn't cut it regularly. Their hair always did exactly what it wanted, and when it wanted to. Just like my girls. Maureen and Mark were a good couple; in my opinion. I hoped they would get married, and we'd have little red-headed grandchildren. But what I wanted for Maureen wasn't what she wanted."

"She's very opinionated," Kristin sniffled.

"I'm glad she didn't listen to me. You didn't know her from 1986 through 2002. She wasn't ever happy, or stable like she is with you. She would have a few moments where I thought she was headed in the right direction, but then Mark would say something stupid, or Joanne would try and make Maureen into something she's not. They both loved her, and didn't mean to hurt her, but they always did."

"She never told me that."

"You, Kristin Yancy, are the first person who loves Maureen exactly how she is. You don't tell her how to speak, how to think, how to feel, or how to be. And she treats you with a respect and a love I didn't know she was capable of. And I'm her Mother!" Kristin choked out a small laugh. "You love her, and she is absolutely in-love with you. Your mother will see it, soon enough. And if she chooses not to, well, then, her loss dear."

"Its not just her. Its my family. My dad, my brother and sister, and all of my close family, they are really trying but its hard for them. Most of my friends won't even talk to me." Kristin turned away from Maureen's mother.

"Well, then, dear, tell them to fuck off." Kristin snapped her head around. "Simple as that." Kristin stared for a minute before laughing a little.

"You and Mo are a lot alike; I never know what to expect you to say."

"Good. Keeps you guessing."

"Tommy and Sasha should be here soon," Kristin said sitting up.

"They got here a few minutes ago. I think I like him."

"He's a good man."

"My Allie seems to think so. Come on, honey. They have something to tell us."

"I'll be right out."

* * *

"Mommy, look at Aunt Mo-ween's new ring!" Allison chirped after the initial 'good-afternoons' and 'sorry we're late.'

"New ring?"

"Well," Kristin said from the bedroom door. "Its traditional to get the girl a ring when you propose."

"Oh my God!" Sasha gasped, She grabbed Maureen's hand and looked the ring over. "Oh my God, Tommy, look!"

"I know," he said, grinning. "I helped her pick it out." Sasha hit his shoulder.

"You didn't tell me!"

"We weren't even dating then!"

"Still." Sasha stared at the ring. "Its so pretty, Mo."

"You said you had news," Nancy said, smiling. Sasha took Allie from the couch.

"I have a surprise, Allie. We moved, baby," she told her daughter. "You have a new room at Tommy's apartment."

"But Mommy," she whimpered. "What if Daddy comes back?"

"He can't baby."

"But I want a daddy......" Tommy's heart broke when Allie sniffled.

"Come here, Big Girl," he said as he reached for her. "Now, I know I'm not Daddy, but I promise to try really hard to be a good guy for you. We can read books at night, and go to the park. Just like we always do, except when I tuck you in, it will be in our house, not my house or yours."

"But you're not a Daddy. You're a Tommy."

"I'm going to try really hard."

"Kassie calls you Dada. Why can't I?" she cried. Suddenly it made sense to Sasha. She thought she wasn't allowed to call him Daddy, and her sister was.

"Tommy, she wants you to be...." Tommy stared at Sasha for a minutes. "Your call, Hot Stuff." She smiled up at him.

"Can....Can I be your new Daddy?"

"What about my daddy?"

"Baby," Maureen whispered. "You get to pick, and no one will love you less no matter what you pick."

"Who do you want to be your Daddy, Sweet heart?" Sasha asked.

"Tommy." Tommy smiled and kissed her forehead. "You want to be my Daddy?" she asked, suddenly shy. Tommy nodded.

"I do."

"Okay," she whispered, tucking herself into his arms. "Okay, Daddy."

* * *

NOTE: The chat about 'Daddies' is based on something I witnessed between my friend's son and her boyfriend. Kid was 3 years and 10 months old. Total Lifetime Original Movie moment. They were married a year later, and are still married, with 3 more kids.


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

Author's Note: Its been a busy summer, and now I am writing again! Yay! Thank God for nap-time, eh? Well, even though this chapter was written several months ago, I'm posting now. I've written through chapter 21, its now a matter of editing, and not wanting to stop writing long enough to edit and post. I'll try to get better!

Second Note: I'm in voice and Piano lessons Monday nights (Hi Brad, Hi Jennifer!!!!) and will be spending more time with music, so this is going to be slower than previous fics I've posted. However, what I'm learning at my music school is really helping get through the writer's blocks that I've hit. That, and eating at 3:00 in the morning at Denny's. (Chapter 21 was done over a Grand Slam, cappichino and brownie.) I hope you can keep with it just a little longer!!!

* * *

October, 2003

Even though it was fall, it was still warm in Oklahoma. Maureen's curls frizzed the minute she stepped off of the plane. It took an expensive trip to a salon on the way into Broken Arrow to do anything with it. And she had to have it straightened.

"You look gorgeous, Mo," Kristin whispered, holding her hand. The once-shoulder-length-and-very-curly hair was now straight, soft, and almost to Maureen's elbows.

"Hands on wheel!"

"Oh, relax. Its an automatic."

"I still think we should have gotten a cab."

"This isn't New York. People don't take cabs everywhere. They drive."

"How long have you had your license?" Maureen asked, holding tight to her seat belt.

"Started driving cars when I was 15. Started driving tractors when I was 11." Maureen gave a nervous chuckle. "Have you ever been out of the city?"

"Yes; my parents live in Queens," Maureen said, watching a car speed ahead of them.

"I mean really out of the city."

"No."

"Welcome to The Country." Kristin pointed out a farm house in the distance. "That's my uncle's farm."

"You didn't mention you lived on a farm!"

"I don't. My parents have a house in the suburbs, but that's in our family. We can go horse-back riding, take the jeep on the trails, or swim in the lake."

"I need a drink." Kristin pulled over.

"Look, you wanted to come. I told you this wasn't a good idea. I don't even want to be here! You wanted to meet the rest of my family before we set a date to get married! Don't you dare pick a fight with me right now!"

"I'm not picking a fight, I'm just prepared for the attack we're driving into!"

"They may not accept us yet," Kristin hissed. "But they are my family. I love these people, and I want them to love you the way your family loves me! They may take their time getting there, but they will eventually get there. So, please, Maureen," she pleaded. "Don't."

"Whatever." Maureen turned to stare out of the passenger side window. The rest of the ride was silent through the farms and into the town.

"That's where I went to high school," Kristin said softly.

"Cute." Maureen attempted to smile. "Kristi, I'm trying, but....they don't like me. I don't want to see you get hurt by them because of me."

"I know, sweetie."

"This is a really cute little town, Kris. It suits you." Maureen tucked a long lock of hair behind her ear. "I miss my curls."

"I do, too, but you look so sexy with straight hair, Mo. You look Broadway ready. Heck, you look Runway ready. I'm temped to stop a get us a room for a few hours." Maureen laughed. Kristin usually took their sex life very seriously, and didn't talk about it much. When she did, it was either very special, or really funny. "Bow chicka wow wow."

"Wrong," Maureen chuckled.

"This is my old neighborhood," she said, turning off of the main street. She pulled up to a house and stared. "They don't hate you."

"I know-"

"I was talking to myself, Mo." Maureen took Kristin's hand and kissed it.

"They don't hate you, Kristin." She kissed her hand again. "If you need to feel a little extra love, just do what I do; turn your ring." She showed her how she toyed with her engagement ring, turning it on her finger with her thumb and little finger. Kristin just touched hers with her thumb and smiled. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Baby." Kristin said as she glanced down at her ring. It was identical to Maureen's. When they went ring shopping, it just made sense. "I'm scared."

"You'll always be a part of my family, and you'll always have me," Maureen whispered. Kristin nodded and swallowed as she front door swung open. She climbed out of the car and her father welcomed her with a hug.

"Hi, Dad," she said into his chest.

"Hey, little girl." He kissed the top of her head. "Mom's in a bit of a frenzy right now."

"I know. Sorry we're late. We had a hair emergency." Kristin's father chuckled. "Mo had a 'fro."

"Hello," he said Maureen as she stepped out of the car. "You must be Maureen." He let go of his daughter and reached a hand out to Maureen.

"Pleasure to meet you Mr. Yancy."

"Dad. You're marrying my little girl," he said, shaking her hand. "Call me Dad."

"I-okay," she said, seeing how happy Kristin was.

"Well, one of you got a ring. Which one?" came a loud voice from the front door. Kristin grinned broadly.

"I asked, but we both have rings," Kristin beamed, taking Maureen's hand and leading her into the house. "Ricky!" she squealed when her brother scooped her up in a hug. "Rick, this is my fiancee, Maureen." The tall man looked over his sister's head and shook hands with Maureen.

"She taking care of you, Kristi?"

"We take care of each other, Richard," Kristin warned.

"Just doing my 'Big Brother' routine. Scaring dates. Nice to meet you, Maureen."

"Girls," Jeannie called from the kitchen. "Its nearly supper time. Pulled pork has been cooking all day."

"Kristi?" Maureen whispered.

"Mom, Maureen doesn't eat meat," Kristin reminded as she walked into the kitchen. She hugged and kissed her mother. "What is she going to eat?"

"Pasta salad, garlic bread, baked potato, baked beans; I left out the bacon from the small dish, and rhubarb cake with your sister's home made whipped cream." Jeannie winked at her daughter. "I pay attention."

"Thanks, Mom."

"You're in your old room, and Maureen is in the guest room. No discussion._ Engaged ain't married!_"

"Yes, mother," Kristin teased.

"Go wash, unpack, and show her around. The insanity arrives in 15 minutes."

* * *

Maureen sat on the bed in Kristin's room. It wasn't what she imagined. She pictured a four-poster bed with frilles This was a simple room, with dark cherry furniture, and a hand-made quilt in reds, deep greens, and navy blues. It was not her.

"My mom, grandma, aunts and great aunts made this when I started high school, and decided that Pink sucked." Kristin stretched out on the bed and kicked her shoes off. Maureen smiled; her Southern accent had gotten stronger with ever word since the plane landed. "I like this bed," she sighed.

"You're family has a really funny accent. "Go warsh uh-p." Its so cute!" Kristin swatted her with a pillow.

"Be nice."

"I thought you liked it when I was a little bad," Maureen taunted. Kristin's eyes went wide and she shook her head.

"Thin walls," she whispered. Maureen grinned.

"Extra quiet?"

"Try silent," Rick could be heard through the bedroom walls. Kristin groaned and blushed while Maureen laughed.

"Stop it!" Kristin hissed.

"Baby, you need to relax! We're safely in G-rated territory."

"This is going to be a very long week...."

"Girls? Quit fooling around and fix yourself a plate!" Jeannie hollered. "Kristi, your sisters are here."

"Sisters?"

"My sister, Rebekah, and Rick's wife Ruth."

"Richard, Rebekah and Kristin. Jesus, were you adopted?"

"Yes." Maureen looked at her, puzzled. "I'm under 5 feet tall, and blond hair, blue eyes. My parents are tall, my brother is tall, and they all have green eyes, and brown hair. Did you really need to ask?"

"Kristin, we're praying with or without you!" a woman called. Kristin took Maureen's hand and dragged her into the dining room just in time for a quiet 'Amen.'

"You're late," her father said, nudging her.

"Mo just figured out who I don't look like."

"We chose her as much as she chose us, Maureen," Rick said, handing her a plate. "God gave me and Rebekah to my Mom and Dad through blood, and He gave her to us by adoption."

"We were going to name her Rachel, but she's not Rachel. She was Kristi from the moment I picked her up, when she was a few hours old. Kristi-" Jeannie said, handing her a glace of iced tea. "-who needed to be Yancy. Now, you two may not share a bedroom, and we are light sleepers-"

"Mother!" a woman hissed. "My children are in ear-shot!"

"Then they better get used to Kristi and Maureen being together, and me fussing at them the same way I did you and your fiancee, Becky. They are not married, and I am going to make sure they remember. Girls, I know you kiss, but keep it Disney around the little kids."

"Yes, Ma'am," Kristin answered. Maureen echoed back the same.

"Now, this here has no bacon. Let Maureen get her fill, she's vegetarian. It doesn't taste the same without the bacon and bacon grease, so let it be. Maureen, Becky brought corn from my brother's farm you passed. Its the best you'll ever eat."

"Why don't you eat meat?" a kid asked Maureen from behind as he took a bun for his sandwich.

"Because, that used to be a cute little pig."

"Well, _I_ know _that!_ Who do you think shot it?" the kid asked. "This one was Charles. We called him Up-chuck. We ran him around, fed him, let him grow pretty big, and Dad let me shoot him! The butcher gave us the good stuff from him, and now we feast!" The adults laughed, except Maureen.

"How old are you?"

"Eleven."

"You have a gun?"

"Oh Please! I have have 12 guns. He died for a good cause; my appetite." The boy piled the pulled pork onto the bun and drenched it with sauce. "Perfect."

"Easy there, Michael. Save some for the rest of us," one of the younger boys called.

"Kris, your cousin-"

"Nephew."

"-nephew is scaring me."

"Maureen, I give you: My Family."

* * *


	15. Chapter 15

iTitle: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

note: changed it a little, had names switched. sorry

* * *

"The four boys are," Kristin pointed out from the end of the picnic table "Michael, who is 11, Luke, who is 9, Matthew, who is 8, and Paul, who is 4. They're Rick's wild bunch. Next to Paul is Noah, he's also 4, then across the table is Micah, he's 6. Jonah is almost 9, and Anna-Grace is on Becky's lap, and is 2, and next to her is Ruth's oldest, Faith. She's 15."

"She has five kids, and he has four. Please tell me you only want one," Maureen whispered. Kristin bit her lip.

"I told you I have a big family," she squeaked, faking hurt feelings. Maureen opened her mouth to speak, but Kristin grinned. "Relax, Mo. Get through the wedding with this bunch, then we'll decide how many."

"Hey, Maureen," Rick called from the far end of the long table. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"I have a younger sister, Sasha. She's got two great little girls. Allison and Kassidy."

"We look forward to meeting your family. Do you have any cousins?"

"Oh, just one, Kate. She has three kids. My mom has an older sister, but my dad is an only child. Its been me, my parents, Kate and my sister most of my life. Once my sister had the girls, my dad really felt left out, being the only man."

"What about Sasha's husband?"

"He's a jerk and walked out," Kristin supplied. "Sasha is dating Tommy, my boss."

"Are you going to have kids, Aunt Kristi?" Faith asked.

"I hope so."

"How?" Luke asked. The table was silent. Maureen bit her lip in amusement.

"Same way I came to the family; By the grace of God."

* * *

"Is she any better?" Tommy called into the bathroom. He heard Allie throw up again. "Okay, no."

"How's Kass?" Sasha called.

"Another diaper change in progress- Oh my GOD That smells! I think it burn my nose hairs." Sasha brought Allie into the bedroom and put her back into her bed. Kassidy screamed while her diaper was changed. "I'll be glad when this is over."

"Are you mad?" Sasha asked, softly.

"What? No! This! The stomach flu, or food poisoning, or too much cereal, or whatever has them both so sick. This isn't your fault, Sash!" he told her as gently as he could. He tightened the diaper and lifted Kassidy into his arms. "Its okay, sweetie." He bounced the crying toddler gently. "Sasha, why are you always worried about me being mad?"

"I'm not."

"Yeah, babe, you are. I'm not going anywhere. What we have here is as close to perfect that existed."

"But not perfect."

"Nope. Its pretty damn close."

"What would make it perfect?"

"If we were married," he said grinning.

"You asking?"

"You accepting?"

"Depends. Are you really asking me, with throw-up on my clothes, and the smell of dirty diapers burning our nose hairs?" Sasha couldn't read him.

"When you put it that way...yeah. I'm asking. As horrible as thie room smells right now, and as bad as that stain on my new couch is, I haven't felt so....normal...so right. Its like I'm supposed to be here, with you and these two little girls."

"What about-"

"All the bad in the world, or something to that affect?" he asked. Sasha nodded. "Compair it to all the good. The good wins out."

"But-"

"I'm not him," Tommy said firmly. "I'm not going to walk out on you, cheat on you, hurt you, or these two. Sasha, I'm not him. I know I have to work a little harder, but could you try to make it a little easier? Doubt the economy, doubt the mental stability of Lou down stairs, doubt the safety of the hot dogs from the vendor in front of my office. Don't doubt me." Allie sniffled.

"Mommy," she whined. Sasha snatched her up and dashed into the bathroom. After a few minutes, she brought Allie back and tucked her back into the bed.

"What can I do to prove it? What can I do or say to prove to you I won't leave?"

"You say you won't, but so did Ron."

"Four months we've been together. Six since I've met you. In that time, have I ever lied to you?"

"Never." Tommy put Kassidy in her bed and rubbed her back.

"Try to get some rest, honey," he soothed. Kassidy put her thumb in her mouth and curled up on her tummy. He followed Sasha out of the room. "Is it just too soon for you?"

"I don't know."

"Go shower, I'll clean up out there, and we'll talk, okay?" She nodded as he rubbed her side. "Hey," he whispered. "Whatever you decide, I love you. Okay?"

"I love you, too."

* * *

Maureen stretched out on the blanket. The fall leaves sheltered her and Kristin from the sun, and Kristin tucked herself into Maureen's side.

"I don't like that," Kristin's dad said. "I want there to be daylight between you two."

"I know, Dad."

"Now, your mother tells me you live together, and have one bedroom." Kristin felt her breath catch. She knew this was coming.

"I sleep in the alcove in the living room," Maureen offered. Most nights, she did. But not every night, and Kristin's parents knew it.

"But if you two are on the way to getting married, I suppose I can live with it for now. Just...soon okay?"

"How is March for you?" Maureen asked.

"How is December?" Jeannie countered. "You're living together."

"Mother," Kristin warned.

"Kristin Yancy, I do not like that tone, Young Lady," her father warned.

"I'm sorry," she said, genuinely.

"I know you don't like that we live together, but since Jeannie visited, I sleep in the alcove most of the time. We respect you enough to follow your rules from 3,000 miles away," Maureen offered. Jeannie sighed and went back into the house.

"What more do you want from us, Daddy?" Kristin pleaded. "We're getting married, soon, and we don't share a room anymore."

"But you did. I thought you knew better than that."

"I _am _an adult, Dad," Kristin told her father. "You don't have to like or even agree with anything I do. But you know I try and live the way I was raised."

"Kristin, I don't know what to say," the old man said, standing up from his lawn chair. "Maureen we love that you are joining the family, and we're glad that Kristi has found the soul that her's has been chasing all these years.....but you are living together, not married, and you're shoving it right under our noses, out here on the blanket. I don't like what New York's done to you, Little Bit." With that, he went into the house, before he could see Kristin cry.

"Baby, come here," Maureen soothed. The screen door smacked closed, and Kristin choked out a sob. Maureen wrapped her arms around the smaller woman. "_I had no choice, but to hear you. You stated your case time and again. And I thought about it. You treat me like I'm a princess. And I'm not used to lying there. You ask how my day was. You already won me over, in spite of me. Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet. Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are. I couldn't help it. Its all your fault_," Maureen sang softly as Kristin cried. "How can I fix this, Baby?"

"I want to go home," Kristin sobbed. "I want you to take me home, Maureen."

* * *

"You're making a choice, Jeannie," Maureen said as she packed her things later that evening. "You are choosing to hurt Kristin, and that's not something I can respect."

"You just got here two days ago."

"And you've given us a good kick toward the door. Congratulations; you've alienated your daughter."

"You-" Jeannie started, but Maureen whipped around, and stood nose to nose with the woman.

"Oh, you don't get to turn this around on me. Kristin is sobbing her heart out while she packs to go home, because you are disappointed. GET OVER IT! Get over it quick, or you could lose her."

"What do you mean, 'go home?' She is home!"

"Lady, this ain't her home anymore."

"Hey! Do you speak to your mother like that?" Rick said, walking into the guest room. "Well?"

"Yes, I do actually. When she makes my little sister feel like crap for her own choices, and hurts someone I love, I tell her exactly what I think about it. Kristi made the choice to be with me. You can't change her mind, and you can't change her heart. All you people are doing is hurting her."

"And what gives you the right to yell at my Mom?"

"What gives her the right to take away Kristin's dignity? What gives any of you the right to make her feel like she's less of a person because of me? Is this just your way of getting her to break it off with me and find a man?" Jeannie set her jaw.

"We weren't trying to hurt her," Rick said gently.

"What would you do if your wife's mom was causing your wife to think that she isn't worthy of the family that raised her? How would you react if they made her feel so terrible about herself that she is losing faith in God and in love?"

"God?"

Maureen opened the fist she'd kept tightly closed through the whole conversation. Pressed tighting into it was the Cross that Kristin hadn't taken off since her father and mother gave it to her on her 12th birthday.

She had taken it off.

* * *

Tommy watched Sasha sleep. The sheets were wrapped tightly to her, and her dark curls cascaded over her shoulder. It was the first day since he met her that she would get to really sleep in. The girls were picked up by Nancy an hour ealier so she and Tommy could have a day to themselves. After much debate, Sasha quit her job to stay home with the girls, and work from home for a friend of Tommy's in web design.

"Tommy," she murmured.

"You haven't answered me yet."

"I know." Sasha sat up, bringing the sheets with her. "I don't know what to say."

"Well, yes or no seem to fit...either way."

"What about the girls?" she asked.

"Don't use them to make up your mind, Sasha. Don't hide behind them. You gotta marry me because its what you want, not for the girls." Sasha sighed and looked away.

"I'm sorry that this is so hard for me. Ron-"

"I am not Ron. I wouldn't hurt you the way he did," Tommy said, putting her fingers through her hair. "Sasha, I want you to be my wife, but only if you love me and want to marry me." Tommy kissed her forehead. "I wish I knew what it was about you that drives me so nuts......I just.....I love you, Sasha."

"I love you, too," she whispered. Tommy hugged her as close as he could, still holding his breath. "I want to marry you."

"Yes!?" Tommy asked. Sasha nodded. "Yes!"

* * *

Note: This week rocks. Piano lessons rocked. Voice lessons rocked. Physical therapy for my stupid 90-year-old-hip hurt, (but its okay because it is fixing it!) My hubbie is being a sweet heart. My toddlers I care for are being extra cute. The baby I care for is being extra extra funny. And it is FINALLY cooling off, here in Redmond, wa! Yay for this week!


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

* * *

Kristin fell asleep Maureen's arms. She had cried most of the night. The earliest they could change their flight was for the next day, so they still had several hours before they needed to leave for the air port. Nothing Maureen said helped calm her down. It was as if Kristin's world had caved in around her.

Maureen had slipped out of Kristin's arms and back to her own room around 7:30 in the morning to pack before she'd been confronted by Jeannie and Rick. Now she sat on the bed, finally allowing herself to cry.

"Are you okay?" Faith asked, leaning on the door. "Its just that...you don't look like the crying type, and you're crying...."

"How could people who claim to love someone as much as you people do just shut them out like this?" Faith sat down on the bed.

"Maureen, we're honest folks around here. We told y'all how we felt about the relationship, and the living situation. We love that Kristi has found who she's gonna spend her life with. We hate that she's living with someone when she's not married. What does your mother think of the situation?"

"My mom loves Kristi, has dinner with us in our apartment often, and couldn't be happier that I have her in my life. She had hopes I would settle down with a man, but once she met Kristin.....all bets were off." Faith sighed.

"She approves."

"What gets me," Maureen started. "What really gets me is that no one in my family would have let me walk out that door. We yell at each other, we throw fits, and fight like people you've never met. But we never leave angry. We never go to bed angry. You guys are quiet-angry, and its a lot worse."

"Maureen, Daddy and Mama love Aunt Kristin. Not one person here wants y'all to leave. We are getting to know you, and we love what we see. You stood up against Grandma. Nobody does that!" Maureen rolled her eyes at the girl. "You have a little sister, right?"

"Sasha," Maureen said, smiling.

"Sounds like she's the light of your life almost as much as Aunt Kristi." Maureen nodded. "Well, what if she were living with a man she's not married to?"

"She is. He's a good guy. I think they're not ready to get married. Its not right for them yet."

"What about me? I'm 15-"

"And when you are 30, you'll be an adult who makes her own choices."

"What if Sasha goes back to her ex-husband?" Faith tried.

"She won't. She's got a restraining order on him."

"You aren't making this easy."

"Faith, Kristin and I are adults. We are in-love, and we are engaged. We're planning our wedding and our life how we see fit. Now, our....personal relationship....is personal." Faith set her jaw in a manner that reminded her of Kristin. Maureen wondered for a moment if Kristin had actually been adopted.

"You came here, knowing how we felt about your living situation, and you made it public when you showed Grandma your shared bed. If you are so embarrassed now, then its not something you should be doing!"

"Faith," Jeannie hissed from the door. "Girl, you better get going, your daddy isn't going to be happy if you're late for school." Faith glared a moment more before bolting from the room. "She is just like Kristi."

"Same set jaw."

"Is my girl all right?"

"No," Maureen answered honestly. "She fell asleep, crying to go back to New York."

"Have we lost her?"

"It depends on you and her," Maureen said. She curled her hair behind her ear.

"I....I don't know my daughter any more. She's not the little thing that moved up there, stars in her eyes, and $10 to her name." Jeannie sighed. "My baby has changed so much."

"She's happy. Well, not at the moment, but when she doesn't feel like you hate her, she's happy."

"I just don't know how to get deal with it, Maureen."

"We live together-"

"Not that."

"What?" Maureen asked.

"I can't deal with the fact that my daughter took off her cross. She sleeps in it, bathes in it. Its been on her neck for nearly 20 years." Jeannie looked over at Maureen. "And she took it off because of me and my set ways."

"She was angry with you, and with me...and with God. She feels like God let her down yesterday by not helping her find the strength to deal with your reactions. She feels abandoned by you and God right now." Maureen sniffled and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I don't have the faith that she does. I never have. But it is so much a part of who she is, that taking that away just breaks her heart! Kristin had so much faith that God would help her find strength to get through anything, that nothing scared her. Not even you."

"Kristi always had strong faith."

"Well, you took that away yesterday. Congratulations. Nothing I can say will fix this for her, Jeannie. I'm not what she needs, and its killing me. Knowing that I can't give her what she needs is so hard," Maureen said, voice choking as she spoke. "I hate that she's hurting so much. And I hate that its her family that is doing it to her."

"I'm sorry," Jeannie offered. Maureen held out the cross.

"Tell her, not me," Maureen suggested. Jeannie nodded slowly.

"Maureen, my little girl loves you."

"I love her," Maureen replied, smiling softly. "I love her with all of my heart, and I want to marry her."

"Then-" Jeannie started to say, but closed her mouth when Maureen held her hand up.

"But I refuse to be rushed into it. We're not ready for that. She's not ready to marry a woman! She's been with me less than a year, and has a hard time with being openly gay. She's only come out to family and close friends. Most of her friends that aren't basically family to us think we're just room mates." Maureen sighed. "If we were joined - married - whatever you want to call it, right now, it would be basically in secret. I won't be her secret."

"I didn't know." Jeannie put her arms around Maureen. "For all intents and purposes, you will be my daughter-in-law, so I have the right to butt in and fix this." Jeannie released her and tucked the long straight hair over Maureen's shoulder. "Kristi knows what she wants, and will go for it with everything she has in her. That's you. Now, that being said, she's scared of something."

"She is afraid of the Christians who are against homosexuality, who will look at her as a terrible person, and who will shut her out of their lives if they knew. A lot of her old friends would. Several already have. Kristi still goes to her old church a few times a month, and the new one as often as she can. She's still torn between the two worlds she lives in; Straight Baptist Girl from Oklahoma, and Lesbian in New York City. Those two worlds don't mix well."

"Then she can shove those so-called "friends," who would hurt my baby, where Jesus Himself wouldn't dream of looking," Jeannie said firmly. The streak of confidence that Maureen loved in Kristin came from this woman directly. There was something about it that reminded her of Nancy. Maureen smiled. "I'll be back in a while. Holler when Kristi wakes up."

"Okay."

* * *

Nancy peeked in on the two children who were sleeping on the floor in front of some old dinosaur movie. Her granddaughters were still not up to much play after the stomach bug they picked up at the park. The phone rang in the kitchen, so Nancy left the two sleeping girls and went into the next room.

"Hello?" she said, picking up her phone.

"Is this Nancy?" came a woman's voice. "Maureen's Mama?"

"Yes, this is she. Is my daughter all right?"

"Your daughter is the most wonderful, thoughtful, caring person my Kristi came home with," a tear-filled voice said. "And you're wonderful, thoughtful caring daught is some kind of a spirited child!"

"You must be Jeannie!"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"What did Mo do?" Nancy sighed.

"Put me in my place," came a gentle response. Nancy sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Now, I had it all coming, Nancy. I admit that. She was right, so was Kristi."

"And I'm _sure_ my Lovely Daughter was first in line to tell you that."

"Yes, Ma'am!" Jeannie laughed.

"Maureen is my fighter. She is always the first to stand up for what she knows is right, protest to help someone, and do whatever she can to help someone in need," Nancy said. "But she doesn't always go about it the right way."

"She's so good to my Kristi. And...she's so good for her. Before Maureen, Kristi just didn't quite...I don't know. She didn't seem happy in her life. She just seemed to get by on faith alone. She didn't have any true deep connections with anyone. Kristi never fell in-love, not really. Not like this. She fell in-love with Maureen so deeply, it didn't matter what body Maureen was in; man's or woman's. She was just in-love."

"Did they tell you how they met?"

"No, Ma'am."

"Maureen.....well....About 10 years ago, Maureen's partner, Joanne got sick. Now Maureen's dealt with death, a lot of it. But never this close. Her friend, Angel, he was a cross-dresser-"

"I saw Mark's Alcove."

"She loved Angel, Jeannie. We all did. No one on Earth was more comfortable with who they are than Angel. She was one of God's Special kind of people that you only meet once, and your life is changed. Joanne really pulled her through losing Angel. And a couple of years later, she lost Joanne. She was so alone, and so changed....we thought we'd lose Maureen, too. Mimi, Mark, Collins and Roger got her through it the best they could, but Mark told me that she wasn't eating. Jeannie, she was so thin. Eventually, AIDS took all but Mark, and he tried like hell to keep her spirits up. I don't think I saw her smile once between 1992 and 1999, when my first grand daughter, Allison, was born."

"Mark was hit by a truck, right?"

"That's what we told Maureen."

"What happened?" Jeannie asked softly.

"Mark rode his bike into the oncoming traffic. He committed suicide," came Nancy's voice, filled with sorrow. Jeannie gasped. "Maureen and Mark were dating for several years before she met Joanne. Since high school. She'd have blamed herself. His family doesn't blame her at all, but he certainly named her more than once in the note he left. We thought it was better that she not know."

"I can see why!"

"Jeannie, I think Maureen survived only because Sasha, her sister, needed her. We never thought we'd see her happy again. The day we met Kristin, we got our daughter back. They met at a bar called Okie's, and Maureen's last drink was that night. We met Kristi a short time later. And My daughter smiled, joked, hugged me and her father," Nancy's voice quivered. "Your daughter gave me back mine."

"How do I get mine back?" Jeannie asked softly. "Kristi and Maureen aren't married, and they're living together. Now, we love Maureen, but since they aren't married in the eyes of God, they shouldn't be living together."

"I have a feeling that this is where Maureen "put you in your place," as you said," Nancy said softly.

"Not before I broke my Kristi's heart."

"How?"

"They want to be together, and we won't stop them. They just need to do it right!"

"Who's version of right?" Nancy asked. Jeannie was silent for a moment, so Nancy continued. "Jeannie, I'm not sure how things work with your family, but with mine, little nudges work more than hard shoves. Especially with Maureen." Jeannie chuckled softly. "A little nudge here and there, and more than you knew you could possibly accomplish is done."

"You're right."

"And if that doesn't work, get her attention with something that will shock the hell out of her," Nancy chuckled.

* * *

Jeannie watched her daughter pack the last of her things. She tried to talk to Kristin, tried to talk her into staying, even tried to talk her into just putting the cross back on.

Kristin wouldn't speak to her mother.

At all.

Eventually, Maureen stepped in and took the bags to the car and closed the door to Kristin's room, leaving the two alone together.

"She obviously wants me to talk to you. Subtly isn't Mo's strong suit," Kristin finally said.

"That girl loves you," Jeannie reminded her daughter.

"I love her."

"You love her enough to turn your back on your family."

"Mother, that's not fair!" Kristin growled. "You're turning your back on me, and you--"

"Your father and I were married in January of 1964, not 1962." Kristin stopped and her jaw fell.

"Rick-"

"Was born in May of 1964."

"While this is certainly shocking, what does it have to do with me?" Jeannie smiled and pat the bed next to where she sat. Kristin hopped onto the bed and waited.

"It got you to listen to what I have to say, for one." Kristin tried not to smile, but failed. "And, my parents didn't give us any other choice. They did not like your dad. They didn't want us to see each other, or get married. So we got pregnant, and they learned to love him. They learned pretty damn quickly to love him. And they always will. Once they got passed the initial shock that I turned up pregnant, and wasn't married, they accepted him in to the family."

"Are you serious?"

"We had your brother, your sister, and we were trying for a third little miracle, but something was wrong." Kristin knew how the story went from here; it was her story. "And then when we couldn't get pregnant a third time, my family was so impressed with how well he cared for me when I was sick. And then we decided to adopt, and here you are."

"What does this have to--"

"You are more like me than you realize. You love this girl. You're going to marry her, and spend your life with her. Right?"

"Right."

"Well, when would you two like to get married?" Kristin thought about it.

"We haven't really talked about a date. I want to marry her, but I don't know when. We haven't even made any plans." Maureen knocked on the door and slipped her head in.

"Is everything okay in here?" Kristin nodded.

"Maureen, can we talk with my mom?"

"Of course." Maureen joined the two on the bed. She scooted behind Kristin, who leaned into Maureen's arms. Jeannie watch how Maureen let her fingers brush Kristin's bare arms. It was obviously very comforting to Kristi, and therefore, Jeannie smiled at it.

"Maureen, dear, is there any reason to wait to get married? Or is there a date that you and Kristi have in mind to get married?" Jeannie asked gently.

"I don't know. I didn't put thought into the wedding yet. I thought Kristin would have a dream wedding mentally planned out already, and I really want her to have that."

"I don't have anything planned out, yet, Mo," Kristin said, taking her hand. "As I kid, I think It was the only one that wasn't interested in the play weddings. I've never really thought about it. I think we should plan together." Maureen smiled.

"I don't see any reason to wait _too_ long. How much time do we need to plan a wedding?" Maureen asked.

"Well, how big of a wedding do you girls want?" Jeannie asked

"Small," they said at once.

"I don't want a fancy ball gown, or 800 people I've never met there. Just my parents, my sister, Tommy and the girls. Dresses and dinner and floral arrangements don't matter; I just want you there, Kristi. You are the only important part of this wedding to me," Maureen explained. Kristin sniffled and tucked herself deeper into Maureen's arms. "When do you want to marry me?"

"Right now."

"How about this winter?" Maureen laughed. "Say... early December?"

"Why early December?" Kristin asked.

"I like that we'll be married for our first Christmas!"

"Mo, that's so sweet!"

"And our second New Year," Maureen said, and kissed Kristin gently. "Love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too, Mo."


	17. Chapter 17

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

* * *

The plane ride back to New York, the following weekend, was quiet and happy. After they set a date, peace was restored between Kristin and her family. Early December didn't work out for most of the family, due to the cost of flying across the counrty, so the date was set in April. Kristin suggested it, as that would be one year since they became officially a couple, rather than just skirting around a relationship.

New York was beautiful in the fall. It was Maureen's hardest time of year, but with Kristin, it was a little easier. Maureen held tightly to Kristin's hand as the cab turned toward Avenue A.

And they were met with a sight they didn't expect.

The building was boarded up.

There had been a fire.

"Welcome back," Benny's voice called from his new Hummer as soon as the women stepped out of the cab.

"What the hell happened?" Maureen spat.

"First floor fire; it was an accident. I was able to get a lot of your things out," Benny offered. "Mark's Alcove was top priority."

"Thanks," Kristin whispered. Maureen was unable to speak. Benny smiled and looked down.

"The building has to be torn down, but Tommy can make an offer on the property if he wants it. With a new fiancee and two kids, he may not want the hassle. But tell him he can make an offer. I gave your brother-in-law-to-be the keys to where everything is stored." Benny rolled the window up and drove away.

"Fiance?" Kristin squeaked.

"BROTHER-IN-LAW!?" Maureen finally choked out.

"TAXI!"

* * *

Tommy was happily asleep on the couch with Kassidy on his chest while Sasha was out with Allie at a birthday party. He was very comfortable, and was not expecting to be woken up. He vaguely heard his front door open and close. Tommy shifted as Kassie was lifted from his arms and taken away.

A few minutes later, he woke up in extreme pain; someone had punched him in the jaw.

"OW!" he yelped. "What the-"

"Brother-in-law?" Maureen screeched. "Fiance!?"

"Maureen--" he started, hands trying disparately the fend off the attack. "We're happy!"

"Happy!?" She smacked his head.

"I'm not RON FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! STOP IT!" He grabbed Maureen's hands and held tight. "We want to be married, and to be a family. They are my family, and so are you! So stop trying to kill me!"

"How'd you ask?" Maureen sneered.

"The girls were sick, Allie had just thrown up, Kassidy had the worst diaper I had _ever _smelled, and I asked her. Not the most romantic moment, but I asked. And I asked because I want to marry her. God, do I want to marry that girl."

"You are marrying my little sister?" Maureen asked. Tommy nodded and looked around the room.

"Where's Kassidy?"

"Kristin has her in the play room."

"Are you going to kill me if I let go?" Maureen shook her head, and Tommy dropped her hands. "I love her, Maureen."

"You'd better," Maureen hissed, stabbing her finger into his chest.

"Benny called me a couple of days ago. He told me about your building. Sasha helped me set you up in one of mine for now." Tommy went into the kitchen and got a key from his counter. "Three bedroom, two bathroom, formal dining room, and Sasha put Mark's Alcove together with great care."

"Was anyone hurt?"

"No, I don't think so. Benny and I almost got ourselves arrested for going in there to get the things from the alcove." Maureen hugged him.

"Thank you. I don't think I could handle it if we lost Mark's alcove." Tommy patted her shoulder.

"Did you do something different with your hair?" Maureen laughed while Tommy stared at her.

"I straightened it; Oklahoma and my curls did Not mix well."

"You look great," he commented.

"Thank you. Now, I missed Halloween. Show me pictures while you show us our new digs."

* * *

Maureen stared around the condo. It was almost as big as Tommy and Sasha's place. There was a great view, and their things were put away how she and Kristin probably would have done it. It wasn't Avenue A, but it was her place. She felt at home.

"Tommy, we can't afford this."

"Yeah you can. Maureen will be my sister-in-law in a few months," he said, sitting on the counter.

"Just until we get something in our old neighborhood."

"Well, a place with better plumbing would be nice," Kristin added. Tommy sighed and stared at the ceiling. "But everything else the same. Its home."

"God, I give them a condo, and they miss Bohemia." Kassidy toddled over to Tommy and held her arms up to him. "Hey little bitty." Tommy picked her up.

"Dada," she said and babbled to him. Kristin smiled. Maureen walked around the apartment, leaving Kristin and Tommy in the living room.

"She loves you," Kristin said, smiling at Kassidy.

"Yeah, well, I love her."

"We have birthdays coming up," Kristin said. "Maureen is November 18th, and Sasha's is on December 2nd, right?" Tommy nodded.

"When is yours? January?"

"August," she said, glaring at him. "Has been for the last 30 years."

"I missed it again, didn't I?" Tommy groaned. Kristin nodded. "I have help remembering next year. Sasha's good with dates."

"Tommy, I don't want to live here for free."

"Why not!?"

"Because, I have always paid my way, and I don't want charity. Not because you wanted to sleep with me, not because you worried about my safety, and not because I'm dating your soon-to-be-sister-in-law." Tommy nodded. Kristin took in a deep breath. "I've been auditioning for more theater. Real shows, real musicals, that will play 8 shows a week."

"Are you quitting?"

"I have an offer. Its not a lead role, but....Tommy, its a good role. Maureen and I will be able to pay for this place easily if I get this." Tommy grinned at her.

"Kristin, that is fantastic!"

"Tell that to Mo," she said softly.

"I thought she would be supportive."

"If I take this....I'm going to be on the road for 8 months." Tommy could nearly feel her anxiety. Kristin bit her lip nervously. "We'll have to push back the wedding until summer."

"What's going on?" Maureen asked from the door. "You're still talking about that role, aren't you." She sighed. "You know what, if you want to leave, than leave. No one is going to keep you here."

"Maureen, its temporary, and will lead to a steady show-" Kristin started.

"And you'll still be leaving me for nearly a year-"

"I'll be home for Christmas, long weekends-"

"I am not a part-time fiancee! If you want this so badly, then take it! Just don't look back at what you are going to give up in the process" she hissed. Maureen turned and stalked out.

* * *

Maureen paced the dining room. Benny's wife was out of town with their son, Ben, so he was happy to let her rant through her house about Kristin wanting to leave for 8 months.

"She actually wants to leave!" Maureen hissed.

"I know," Benny said, calmly.

"For nearly a year!" she whined

"You've said," he muttered. Maureen looked at him. "Come sit," he said softly. She sat next to him on the couch and rested her had on his shoulder.

"Benny, why is it that you are the only person who has never left me, but you are the only person I could never have?"

"Because I'm not your type, Mo." Maureen let out a small laugh. "I had a thing for you, but you were Mark's girlfriend.....and then I met Allison...you met Joanne. But, Mo, Kristin is just right for you. Mark and Joanne never got you. If she wants to go for 8 months, let her go, and you know she'll come back."

"You're taking her side?!"

"I'm not taking sides, Mo! And what are you? Six?" Maureen glared up at him. "She's more into you than you can possibly imagine."

"Then why is she going to leave?"

"She needs to," Benny said, softly. She needs this for herself."

"What about me?"

"Go with her," he told her.

"I don't want to follow in someone's wake. I did that with Mark and Joanne."

"They were wrong for you, Mo. Even I knew it. Kristin is right for you. If you love her, let her go, and spend more time texting her than auditioning."

"I just got her, I'm not ready to let her go."

* * *


	18. Chapter 18

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

NOTE: The pictures they talk about are pictures of Chenzel floating around the net. I changed a few details about location of pictures, but tried to describe the posing as the same.

* * *

"Ugh." Maureen stared into the mirror. She looked tired, sad, scared, and more alone than she cared to think about. It had only been two weeks since Kristin left to tour with the play she'd been cast in, but Maureen hadn't slept very much. She couldn't wander around the big apartment Tommy had set them up with; it was too lonely. She had moved back home.

"Sweet heart, we need to have a little talk," Nancy called into the bathroom.

"Mom-" Maureen started, but thought better of it. She finished brushing her hair before thumping down the stairs.

"Sit down and have a cup of coffee, and listen." Maureen nodded and dropped into a chair at the dinner table. "Maureen, she did not leave you. Its different than with Mark. Its different than with Joanne. Kristin will be back. You talk on the phone before every rehearsal so far. She texts you a hundred times a day. Kristin loves you-"

"She broke it off with me last night," Maureen whispered, eyes pooling with tears. "She....she said that I was not being understanding, and that if I couldn't be supportive, than we were through." Nancy moved around the table and wrapped her daughter in a hug. Maureen tucked her head into her mother's hip and sighed.

"Oh, honey. Your father and I broke up twelve times while we were engaged. Why is she touring with the company?"

"So when it settles on Broadway, she'll have a better chance at keeping the part."

"Why does she want to keep the part if it settles?"

"Because she loves acting," Maureen said, small pout forming. Nancy tilted her daughter's chin up and smiled at her lovingly.

"Because she loves you, and wants to do anything she can to provide for you, keep you in a safe home, and give you the love, support, and the chance to be independent before you...get married or whatever it is you plan on doing."

"How do you know?"

"She called me this morning before you woke up, and told me about your fight. She loves you, Mo."

"She left, and told me last night that we were through. Am I supposed to forget that?" Nancy sighed heavily. She stepped away, dreading what she was about to do next; break Maureen's heart.

"Maureen Johnson, you have no drive what-so-ever to better yourself, take care of yourself, or get a job, and you never have! Protesting wasn't a career, and auditioning isn't a career. You were taking advantage of Kristin, and you know it! Joanne's money ran out 4 months ago, and you refused to work. As long as Kristin paid the bills, or Tommy had an apartment for you, everything was fine! You are going to go out there, TODAY, and Get a real job. It doesn't have to be 9-5, just something you do between auditions to make money! Your father and I can't afford to pay all of your bills while you mope around here."

"Mom-" Maureen started, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"No! Kristin gave you everything, Joanne gave you everything, and Mark gave you EVERYTHING! You can fix things with Kristin if you bring home a semi-regular pay check. Go get dressed. There's going to be a cab out front in 25 minutes. Now go!"

* * *

The rehearsal studio was the loudest during lunch. Everyone chatted over sandwiches, salads, water bottles, and the occasional box of home made cookies that someone's mother/spouse/current significant other would send. Kristin loved this little bit of down-time. She and Maureen e mailed and texted a lot, but this was a time when she could read the handwritten letters from her family, and the occasional 'Good Luck in the new city,' note from Nancy and Ed. Christmas was a few days away, and she would be flying to New York for a long weekend, and then home for a few days before returning to the show.

"Mail," came a booming voice from the door. The theater troop went silent as the 30 or so letters and various holiday cards were passed around. Several people got cookies, Kristin got her mother's Butterfinger Brownies, and there was talk of someone getting a fruit cake.

"I have a book that tells you how to properly repurpose that fruit cake, Cody," a man called out

"Fruit cake _cookies_. Not Fruit Cake in the traditional sense. These are much...much better," Cody called back, mouth already full of cookie.

"Kristi, got a letter for ya," the stage manager called. Kristin jogged over toward the office. He handed her the envelope. "It looked too personal to hand out over there. It was addressed to 'My bride to be, Kristi Yancy,' from 'Ms. Maureen Johnson. "I knew you were engaged, but I didn't know Mo was a _she_, and I thought you would rather open in private. Not many lesbians out there."

"Thank you."

"If you two are really as serious as she thinks you are," he said, pointing to the letter. "Might as well not hide it."

"Just because you didn't know, doesn't mean I'm hiding anything." Kristin opened the letter and read, smile growing with every line.

"Good news?"

"She got a job," Kristin breathed. "She's an advocate for Homeless with AIDS, to help them get into clean shelters. Its not entirely safe, but she's doing what she's meant to do. New Years Eve, 1989, she protested the building over a tent city on Ave. A. She was a protester for any cause, but none like mistreatment of homeless, or people with AIDS. This can't be easy for her," Kristin whispered. The stage manager leveled a curious glare at her. "She lost several friends to AIDS, some of whom contracted it before they even knew what it was. Part of what she's going to be doing is education."

"Sounds like very good news," he said, smiling at the short woman, who grinned. "I never would have pegged you as gay."

"That term sounds vulgar, somehow."

"Lesbian sounds better?" he asked. Kristin narrowed her eyes at him. "Look, Cody's gay, Sam's gay, Arnie-"

"Everyone knows Arnie's gay."

"Half the cast is gay men, the other half is made up of divas, and wanna-be divas. You aren't one of them. You actually have more talent than you realize-" Kristin held up her hand.

"Getting on Broadway has to do with so much more than just talent. This is just part of my road there. When I am meant to be there, I'll be there."

"Just....don't let the Diva who thinks she is leading lady walk all over your part. She's been sucking the life out of the second act all week. You'll be in New York again before you know it."

* * *

Maureen laid back on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. The apartment was spotless, dinner had been delivered, and Kristin would be in her arms any moment. When the blonde leaned over her smiling, Maureen wrapped her long arms around Kristin's thin hips.

"Missed you," Maureen whispered.

"I missed you, too, Mo." Kristin captured Maureen's lips with her own. "I have news."

"Good?"

"Sort of." Maureen smiled.

"You're leaving the tour and coming back here after you visit your parents."

"All of that's true. I'm leaving the tour, and coming back after Christmas. But I'm leaving again after New Years." Maureen opened her mouth to protest, but Kristin held up a hand. "I'll be back in March. Permanently. Much better than July, right?"

"Why aren't you coming back?"

"When we were touring near LA, a casting director was dragged to the show by his daughter, and he offered me a small part in a show. The pilot will be filmed in LA, and if its picked up, the rest will be in New York. We start production in mid February, so I do get to come back for New Year's Eve, but have to be in LA by -January 10th for pre-production." Maureen felt herself smile lightly.

"Will you go back on tour if the show doesn't get picked up?"

"No, probably not." Kristin snuggled down into Maureen's arms. "I missed this too much. I missed you too much." Maureen tilted Kristin's chin up, and kissed her deeply.

"Can we open Christmas gifts now?" Maureen asked gently. "I've been really excited for you to see what I got you."

"Me, too! I can't wait to show you what I did for you!" Kristin scrambled up and dashed off to her suitcases while Maureen went into the bedroom. Soon enough, they both were back on the couch, each holding several wrapped gifts. "You first," Kristin insisted.

"Okay." Maureen took a small gift box from Kristin and tore into the paper. Inside was a small white box, and inside that was a purple velvet box. She opened the lid and bit back a small laugh. Kristin had gotten her a necklace unlike one she'd ever seen. The chain was a shiney black/silver color, as was the outer ring of the pendant. The outer ring was a small circle surrounding a purple glass orb "Its perfect, Kristi. Help me put it on?" Kristin fastened the necklace around her lover's neck and kissed her shoulder lightly.

"You like it?"

"Its perfect," she said. "Where did you find it?"

"A street vendor in San Francisco sells them. It just looked like something you would like."

"Love. I love it. Your turn." Kristin took the small box first, but Maureen stopped her.

"That one last. Its....its different." Kristin nodded and took the bigger box. She unwrapped and opened the gift box.

"A talking picture frame?"

"I thought you were going to be away a lot longer, so I thought you'd like it."

"I love it! It can stay in my trailer," she joked. The picture was of the two of them at the park, Maureen sitting down, attempting to read, and Kristin behind her, attacking her with a hug and a huge smile, while Maureen simply grinned.

"Hit the button."

_"My _**one **_attempt to be serious, and its been thwarted by a cute blonde. Figures. Love you, Kristi. Come home.....soon." _Kristin laughed, and handed over a box to Maureen. She opened it, and laughed. It was a similar frame, but the picture was different. They were at a rehearsal for a play they'd worked together over the summer, which required Maureen to wear her glasses, which she hated. She was wearing workout pants, a black shirt, and had her hair straightened for the part, and Kristi chose a white baby-tee, and, for some reason, was wearing a bandanna. During their break, they'd been goofing around; Kristi was telling Maureen how beautiful her hair looked when straightened, and knelt behind her and posed, wile Maureen rolled her eyes.

"Oh my God, how did you get this?"

"Made a phone call, called in a favor. We owe someone blood for this, by the way."

_"This is my favorite picture of us. You look so beautiful, Maureen! I can't wait to hold you, and tell you I love you again.."_

"I love you, too, Kristin." Maureen handed her a gift bag. "This is a little lame......" she warned.

"I like lame," Kristin said as she opened the bag. Maureen's favorite shirt was folded neatly inside, along with her favorite pajama pants. "What's this?"

"To keep at your place. You had started complaining that all of your stuff was getting lost in my stuff, and now that you're living in a hotel most of the time, its just your stuff. I thought some of my things should go with you....you know, make it feel a little closer than you really are."

"Mo, that's so sweet! Here's another one for you." Maureen took the last gift and tore into it. The box was very light, and felt empty. Maureen lifted the lid. "Plane tickets to come to LA three times while I'm there. Your mom told me what weekends you work, and when you're off. They can easily be changed if we need to, but you get to come out and see me.....whenever you like."

"I've only left New York once......"

"And Oklahoma is not that big. LA is a totally different world than here or Oklahoma.

"Kris," Maureen said, gently. "This means a lot to me. Thank you." Kristin leaned in and kissed her love deeply. "Last gift."

"I can't wait to see." She opened it, and cocked her head to the side. "Seasons of Love?"

"I still have all of Mark's recording equipment, and used it over the last few weeks. Benny, Tommy, Sasha and my parents helped set up a small studio at my parent's house, and I wrote you a few songs. Mom laid down the piano tracks, Benny played guitar, base, and did some back up vocals, and Sasha even got out her violin for one song. The song 'Seasons of Love' is one that we all used to sing a lot. Me, Joanne, Mark, Collins, Angel, Roger and Mimi. You've never heard it, because we recorded it in early 1990, just before Angel got really sick. The original recording is on there, and Benny, Tommy, Sasha and I did a new version of it. Not as nice, vocally, but doesn't have-" Maureen's words were cut off by Kristin's lips covering hers. She melted into the kiss, and brushed away the tears from Kristin's cheek.

"Maureen," Kristin whispered. "Are you really ready to share this with me?"

"When you hear the song, both versions, you'll know I am."

* * *


	19. Chapter 19

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

NOTE: Sorry it has taken me SO LONG with this! I spent a month back home with my dad, and then had serious writer's block. I'm finally done, and am posting the last four chapters today

:-)

* * *

Maureen watched her lover's eyes as the song played again. Kristin looked at pictures of the people singing, and smiled when she heard Maureen's voice, loud and clear. At one point, another woman's voice hit a high note, and Kristin studied the picture. Joanne, she assumed. Now there were voices to these faces. After it had ended, Maureen took the picture away from Kristin and turned on the TV.

"Benny had these restored and transferred to a DVD. This is hard for me to watch, but I need to share them with you. I need to, Kristi." Kristin nodded and tucked her arm around Maureen, who rested her head in Kristin's lap. "Mark made a short movie from clips from all of these little bits of film he took over the course of a year on this old camera. Benny told me that he sorted through all of the footage after he had it transferred to DVD, and took out things that he thought I would like. See, Mark filmed everything. Trees, homeless people sleeping, strangers kissing, everything. There are 20 or so DVD's out of all his footage, this one of just the gang, and one short. Today 4 U, his little movie. It was his pride and joy."

"Is that what this is?"

"No, this is just all of us during that year." Maureen pressed play and Roger's face came into focus, eyes rolling.

_"Okay, Mark. Get the camera out of my face. I'm not Maureen; you can't film me every second of every day." _Roger smiled weakly. Kristin heard Maureen sniffle.

_"Of course I can't. But I can try! The point of this movie is to get one year of our lives on film!"_

_"Great year to start,"_ Roger said, dripping with sarcasm.

_"Speak!" _came two voices from the answering machine. Mark focused the camera there.

_"Mark, Its Maureen. Listen, Joanne still can't get my equipment to work. Please......PLEASE call me! I KNOW I've called three times already, but seriously. My protest is tonight, and I really need you!"_

_"I'm going out," _Mark said flatly. _"Don't answer if she calls back."_

"We'd just broken up a few weeks ago.....he answered a few hours later, and fixed the equipment in time for the show," Maureen said. "The protest isn't on here; a news station bought the footage, and Mark never got it back. This is dinner after the protest. Benny had the cops called in, and a lot of people were arrested. There was a riot. I caused a riot!"

"Who filmed this?"

"A friend of ours. That's Mark, on the table. There's Mimi, Roger, Collins, Angel...."She stopped when the camera stopped on her kissing Joanne.

"You two were very cute together," Kristin said, stroking Maureen's hair.

"I loved her so much."

"_She's my sister_." Kristin and Maureen laughed at that.

"We broke up a few days later....then back together....then apart...." Maureen laughed, swiping a tear away. "She and I were never really on the same page. I was wild then, and she was a control freak. Always had to know where I was and who I was with, and when I would be home. We left this club early the night before our engagement party, because a woman in rubber was flirting with me. I told you that part, but what I didn't tell you was how much it hurt that she thought I would cheat on her."

"I knew."

"Kristin, what she and I had was beautiful, scary, and amazing, but its so different from what we have. I know you trust me, and I know I'll never betray that." Kristin leaned down and kissed Maureen's temple.

Kristin's mind was racing throughout the old home movie. She could share Maureen with pictures and stories. But now these faces had voices, personalities, relationships to each other in front of her.

Now they were real, and Maureen had lost so much more than faces in a picture or two. She'd lost the laughter, tears, jokes, and a big part of herself that she'd never been able to show Kristin; the sarcasm, wit, and the fire that made Maureen who she once was. Maureen looked so much more alive on the screen in front of her than Kristin had ever seen her, as the massive group toasted everything loudly over beer and wine.

This was a Maureen that Kristin hadn't met.

* * *

Kristin paced through the hall of her mother's house. After three more days with Maureen and everyone else, she'd gone home for Christmas. She listened to the music that Maureen had written, and the old recording from 1990. Her voice was different now. To some, it sounded better trained, more mature, and a little older. To Kristin, she sounded heart-broken.

"Kristi," her mother's voice called. "You need to get to bed."

"Mama, I'm a little old for Santa Clause."

"But we're not too old to sleep a good night. Either come in and talk, or get on in to bed." Kristin opened her mother's door just as the woman tied her robe. "Tea or cider?"

"Cider." Jeannie sighed heavily and pulled her daughter into a hug.

"That bad?"

"I will never be Joanne. Or Collins, or Mark, or Mimi-"

"Ah." Jeannie bustled around the kitchen, heating water in the microwave and digging out the packets of cider mix she kept for midnight talks with her daughter. "Does this have anything to do with that DVD you showed me earlier?" Kristin nodded. "She did seem so much younger."

"How can I fill those shoes? They're bigger than me!"

"Kristi," Jeannie started. "There are some things you need to hear." She mixed the cider and set it on the table.

"I'm listening."

"You are four feet and eleven inches tall."

"Gee-" A glare from her mother stopped her before the rest of the sarcastic comment could slip out.

"You are four feet and eleven inches tall, in your body, that God made in his image. And You are perfect as you are." Kristin smiled sadly. "Your voice is 10 feet tall. Your spirit is 100 feet tall. And Maureen loves every inch of you, even the part your body can't hold in. Do you know what I think she saw in you?" Kristin shook her head. "That fire that she had 10 years ago, 12 years ago, you still have that. And she's fighting to regain that herself. And she loves you something fierce! Now, the Maureen I met when I visited you, and the Maureen I met when you two came down here, two different people. She wasn't as scared, or as hurt, or as fragile the second time I met her."

"Why weren't you okay with us?"

"I didn't think she was right for you. But you brought me out there too soon, honey. A few months made such a difference. You were more comfortable as a couple, and so much in-love, that no one could pull you apart.......no matter how much I tried."

"Why?" Kristin asked, taking her mother's hand.

"At first, because I didn't think she was right for you."

"At first?"

"And when you came out here with her. I saw that she was right for you, and it scared me more. I didn't want to lose my baby." Jeannie sipped at her steaming mug. "That sad and lonely woman I first met......I saw you, ten years down the road. I couldn't word it at first, and grabbed ahold of the first straw that I could grab. You're a lesbian, and you must have had sex before, or you wouldn't have known. Don't answer that; there are things a mother doesn't need to know." Kristin clamped her mouth shut. "You went to New York because Oklahoma wasn't enough for you. Kristi, you knew that you needed to leave to find what was missing. It wasn't a birth mother, or a career. It was love. Love of music, love of acting, love of life, love of another human being in whatever body God chose to send to you."

"But Mama, she has lost so much," Kristin said gently. "Say we last ten good years, and something happens to me. She's back where she started; alone, sad, and in some sports bar listening to some short blonde cheering for a team 2,000 niles away. If we break things of now, she gets hurt so much less-"

"No!" Jeannie said, forcefully. "If you end things now, you'll hurt her more than anyone ever has in the past. Do you love her?"

"Yes!"

"Then why would you leave her? Because you're afraid you won't measure up!? Kristi Yancy, I never thought I would hear such a selfish thing come out of your mouth!" Jeannie yelled. "If she's not good to you, if she hurts you, if you two aren't happy, than its okay to leave. But because you are scared that she may still think of her dead lover? OF COURSE she'll think of Joanne! And the whole motley crew! They were her family! If they had died on September 11th, would you have any problem with her still thinking of them?" Kristin was silent. "I know you wouldn't. AIDS, Cancer and a suicide are no reason to-"

"Suicide?" Jeannie clamped her mouth closed. "Collins, Mimi, Angel and Roger died of AIDS. Joanne died of cancer. That leaves Mark. He was hit by a truck."

"Technically." Kristin thought about it for a moment and felt tears filling her eyes. "Nancy told me. Maureen doesn't know. Mark's parents didn't want her to. In his letter, he...well....he blamed her. Kristin, you shouldn't talk about this. I shouldn't have let it slip."

"Now if I ever leave her, I'm an especially horrible person!" Kristin cried. "I love her....Mama, I do....but I'm so scared now!" Jeannie held her daughter.

"Kristi Yancy, knowing what her baggage is doesn't change how much you love her. She doesn't fully understand yours."

"I had it so easy-"

"How many years did you wonder about your birth mother, Kristi? You never said anything, but you always wanted to know-"

"No, Mama. I never did. I knew when you told me when I was little that I had one Mother and one Father. I was your daughter, and that was that. Nothing else mattered. When you told me that you didn't give birth to me, I felt more loved by you and Dad at that moment than ever in my life. You _picked _me. You _chose _me, and the woman who had me, loved me so much that she gave me to you. That's how I have always felt. Always." Jeannie choked back tears. Now wasn't the time for this conversation. "I used to look at the family pictures. I knew I didn't look like anyone in them. But if you look really close, my smile looks like Grandma's when she's really laughing. I glare like you do when I'm mad. And I get overly emotional, like Becky."

"You are a Yancy."

"Am I a Johnson?"

"You could be." Kristin sniffled. "And she could be Yancy, too."

"Maureen Yancy?"

"I think I like Kristi Johnson better."

"What if I'm not enough?"

"My little Kristi, you were always enough. She loves you because you are Kristin Yancy. Nothing more or less. If God likes who you are, than who is she to complain?" Kristin laughed. "Now, get on to bed." Kristin hugged her mother again before padding down the hall. "Lord that child thinks too much."

* * *

"Mom?" Maureen called into the kitchen. "Mom, Kristi's going to be here a day early!"

"Wonderful!" Nancy called back. Her oldest daughter poked her head into the kitchen. "Did she say why?"

"She misses me. Pass me a Coke?" Nancy glared over her shoulder, and Maureen sighed and came into the kitchen. She sat on a stool at the breakfast bar on the island. The kitchen was cluttered with boxes of decoration to be put away by New Years Eve, and Nancy placed things in them at random. "Mom, she sounded strange on the phone."

"You put too much pressure on her, Mo."

"Mom-"

"Jeannie and I talked this morning. Just cut her a little slack, okay?" Maureen nodded. "How's work, dear?"

"Mom, I love what I do. Its hard, but I feel like I'm helping again. I placed a man and his children in an apartment today. Small, run-down place. But those two kids were so excited about having a bedroom and a bathroom. They were so happy, Mom! Some friends from work pooled together, and we put up a small tree for them, so when they came in, it looked nice. I even put a couple of presents in there." Nancy smiled at her daughter. "Their father cleaned up when their mom died, but too late. Its probably his last Christmas with them. At least the have a warm place to have it this year."

"You know, my favorite Christmas was 1986. You and Sasha had out-grown Santa Clause, so Christmas had changed. We didn't have a lot of money, and You insisted on having Hanuka with Mark, and he was going to celebrate Christmas with us." Nancy pulled a photo album from one of the decoration boxes in the kitchen. She had never unpacked this album, and only intended to when Maureen could look without crying. Maureen opened the first page and smiled.

"We were so young then, Mom. You hated Roger's piercings."

"When I met Cujo, he had a safety pin in his eye-brow. I didn't know they could fall off!" The two laughed. "Oh, Maureen, I have missed that laugh of yours so much. This year.....this is my favorite Christmas. Both of my girls are happy, in-love, and have serious plans for their future, my granddaughters have two parents who adore them, and I am going to have a new daughter and son-in-law before next Christmas."

"How do you feel about her, Mom?" Maureen asked softly.

"I believe that you've never asked me that about anyone before." Nancy stopped packing and sat on the stool next to her daughter. "I love her. She's almost as much my daughter as you are. Kristin has become such a good friend to me, that its hard to imagine a family photo without her in your arms."

"Really?" Maureen said, smiling ear to ear.

"I got over the lesbian issue when Joanne got sick. My baby was in-love and was losing that love. Now you have Kristi, and you're my Maureen again. You argue with me, laugh with me, yell at me, slam doors, crack jokes, crack smiles, and you are happier than I have ever seen you, Maureen. How can I not love the person who helped you find that spark again?" Maureen almost knocked her mother off the stool with a fierce hug. "But go easy on her."

"Okay.


	20. Chapter 20

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

* * *

It was nearly 5:00 in the morning when Maureen opened her eyes. She smiled when she heard the door open. She couldn't help but smile. "Hey," she said, listening to Kristin's familiar foot-falls. "How was Oklahoma?"

"It was enlightening," Kristin responded, sounding very tired. She set her bags down and curled onto the couch with Maureen. "Four days with them was too much." Maureen chuckled and pulled Kristin close to her. "It was not just the part of the family you met. Aunts, Uncles, cousins.......it was big." Kristin kissed Maureen and snuggled farther into a hug. "You taste like coffee and chocolate.

"I wanted to be awake when you got home, Sexy. Aren't you used to your whole family?"

"I was a long time ago, when I was the cute adopted one. Now I'm the engaged lesbian, and things are a wee bit different. Instead of the focus being on my happiness, my career, our engagement, it was on 'Jeannie you must be to disappointed!' And 'It must be because she's adopted. I hear they claim its a genetic disorder.' I was so mad!"

"I can tell. You have your southern accent back really strong. 'Ah wuz sow maaad!' It's so cute!" Kristin narrowed her eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry it was a rough time, Baby. What can I do to make you feel better?"

"I don't know. Tell me that I'm enough for you....exactly how I am?"

"How about I show you?" Maureen tilted Kristin's chin up and kissed her deeply, letting her tongue tease and taunt at Kristin's bottom lip. Kristin whimpered lightly as a hand snaked its way under her shirt and touched her side lightly. Maureen pulled back just enough to whisper to Kristin. "I love you exactly how you are, and you are enough to make me whole. You are everything to me, Baby."

"I just don't want to be a replacement......for all of them."

"Just because you came into my life later, doesn't mean you're my second choice. It just means we met later. I loved them, and I always will, but I'm in-love with you. I want to be with you. You're my Kristi," she said gently, and kissed Kristin again. "You're my first and only choice."

"What about....in bed?" Kristin blushed deep pink.

"Well, you aren't as experienced as I am, but you certainly know what you're doing." Maureen smiled and rubbed Kristin's side. "What you do for me, no one has done before. Kristi, I've never had what we have. No one has ever loved me the way you do," she said.

"Really?" Maureen nodded and kissed Kristin.

"I love you, Kristin Yancy.....so much." Maureen kissed her again and maneuvered the smaller woman to straddle her hips. Kristin looked down on her lover. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Maureen." Kristin leaned down and kissed Maureen with passion before climbing off her hips. She stood and reached a hand out to Maureen and lead her into the bedroom where Kristin pushed her back onto their bed. "Mo, I need you. I need to feel that I'm enough." Maureen grinned and rolled the two of them over, so she was on top.

krstimokristomo

"Marry me, Kristi. Tomorrow," Maureen whispered a short while later.

"Tomorrow?!"

"What better day to get married?" Maureen kissed Kristin's shoulder. "One year tomorrow. December 30th." Kristin bit her lip, and tears welled up in her eyes. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"It's just so romantic, Maureen! I have to call my mom!" Kristin reached for her cell phone on the night stand.

"Wait!"

"What? Kristin asked. Maureen took the phone from her.

"I want to ask them for their blessing. I want to marry you, Kristi, and I want to marry you right now. But if your parents aren't cool with it, we'll both be on their shit-list."

"Right on top. Speed dial 3."

"I thought they were two. Voice mail, your parents, work, me-"

"I changed it. Voice mail, you, my parents, your parents, your sister, my sister, my brother, then work." Maureen smiled. She hit the 3, then the little green phone and waited.

"Jeannie, its Maureen! I know its really really early, but I needed to talk to you."

"_Is Kristi okay!?"_

"Yes, she is fine. Terrific. Beautiful......amazing.....perfect....."

_"Then why in God's Name are you calling at 6:45 in the morning!?" _Maureen smiled and took a deep breath.

"I want to marry your daughter. Today. Now. But....I don't want to without your blessing. We'll still have the big one with everyone this spring.....but we can't wait anymore. We just need to be married. We want to get married tomorrow. It just fells so-" Kristin snatched the phone and put it on speaker.

"Mama, it feels like its right. Like its meant to be. Please give us your blessing."

The phone was silent.

_"We'll be on the next flight out, Darlin'! Honey, wake up. Kristi's getting married tomorrow! Get out a suit!"_

The line went dead.

"Maureen?"

"Hmm?"

"We're getting married. Tomorrow," Kristin said, taking a deep breath. "There's so much to do! I'm going to call your parents, you call Sasha and Tommy. My mom'll get my side of the family up here. We need to meet with Aldo's pastor, and figure out what we need to do. I know its not legal at all, but its in the eyes of God that we'll be married, and-" Maureen covered Kristin's lips with her finger.

"Not before we finish what we started a couple of hours ago."

"We 'finished' 4 times."

"But not knowing it's our last day as an engaged couple. Tomorrow, you'll be my wife." Kristin smiled at Maureen, and then frowned.

"I don't know about LA anymore. I don't think I can leave for a month. I don't want to leave my wife of two weeks to film a show that I only have a few minutes on camera." Kristin sighed. "I don't know anymore."

"I do."

"Keep that phrase in your mind," Kristin teased. "What's the plan?"

"I love my job, I do, but I would rather come with you and be your personal cheering section. I can take some time off of work, but it would be unpaid. Totally worth it to not leave you, baby."

"What about the plane tickets I bought?"

"We can change them to help fly your family up for the wedding-" Kristin cut her off with a kiss. "-which I see you like. Baby, we're getting married tomorrow. Your career is taking off. Our families are okay with us, and my mother loves you." Maureen choked on her words as a lump in her throat formed. Tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Mo, what's wrong?"

"I just love you so much, Kristi." Another passion-filled kiss was shared.

* * *

It was almost midnight when everyone got to Maureen's parents' house. Kristin's parents, brother, sister, in-laws and kids flew in. Most of them were going to camp at Nancy and Eddie's house, but Kristin's parents were going to stay in the guest room at Kristin and Maureen's apartment, while Maureen stayed with her own parents.

"Mom!" Maureen yelled into the house. "Onslaught of massive Southern family!"

"Oh, Hello! Come in! We've been cleaning up and getting ready for you guys all day. Hot chocolate is in the kitchen for everyone, and then we'll assign sleeping bags. My future son-in-law got everyone a bag, air mat and pillow for the next two days," Nancy informed.

"Air mat? We don't need air mats. It'll be like camping," a kid said.

"Mom, meet Michael," Maureen called over the boys head. "Everything is already set up in the den, living room and dining room." Everyone gathered around and took a mug of hot chocolate.

"Okay, to stay organized, all of your bags will go with your parents into Maureen's room and Sasha's room."

"Faith and Anna-Grace will camp out with me, Sasha, Allie and Kassidy in the dining room. Michael, Luke, Jonah, and Noah are in the den, Micah and Paul will be in the living room with Tommy," Maureen explained. Everyone nodded as they sipped. "Kristi put a name on each sleeping bag, between getting a dress, shoes, and nails done." Faith laughed. Nancy cleared her throat.

"Tomorrow will be busy. Adults will be up at 6 for breakfast and then to get ready, older kids at 8, little kids at 9:30. Maureen, Faith, Ruth, Rebekah, Anna-Grace and I will be leaving at 10:00 to pick up her dress, get hair and make-up done, and to Kristi's church by 2:00. Tommy, Michael, Rick and Luke will be leaving at 10:25 to get the tuxes Tommy put on order this morning. At noon, there will be food delivered to the three places everyone is. Nothing that can spill or stain. Eddie will have cabs here at exactly 1:45. The wedding is at 3:30. Any questions?"

"How on Earth did you plan all this?" Rebekah asked.

"My daughters were....active teenagers, always doing plays, musicals, concerts, and protests. This is a walk in the park to Maureen's high school graduation. Its 12:24am, on my daughter's wedding day. Everyone go find a sleeping bag with a name on it. Bathroom light stays on, and its just down the hall." Maureen hugged her mom.

"Thank you so much, Mom." Nancy smiled at her daughter and kissed her cheek.

"Mo, this is the happiest day of my life. Its everything I've ever wanted for you, sweet heart. Now, when do I meet Kristin's parents?"

"Tomorrow while we're getting ready."

"Jeannie and....?"

"You know, no one ever mentioned his name. I've heard, "Dad," "Honey," and "Grandpa." Never a name." Rick laughed as he shooed his children toward sleeping bags.

"Dad's name's Rick, like me."

"I love your Oklahoma accent," Nancy said, taking Rick's hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Rick."

"You, too, Nancy. Mama and Kristi speak mighty highly of you. Thank you for putting us up tonight and tomorrow. We weren't expecting a trip out here until this summer."

"I'm happy to have such a full house for such a wonderful event. It reminds me of-" she paused and looked at Maureen. "Old times." Maureen's smile faultered slightly. "Get at least a little sleep, Maureen."

"I'll try."

"I'll make sure she does, Miss Nancy," Faith said as she dragged Maureen toward the girls' area.

"Night Mom!"

"Good, Faith seems to have come to terms with all this. She and Maureen didn't mix well in October," Rick said to Nancy once Faith had pulled Maureen into the next room.

"Ah, yes. Maureen mentioned that."

"I'm happy she got over it. Maureen's good for Kristi."

"Kristin is good for Maureen. Well, goodnight, Rick."

"Night, Ma'am."

* * *

Kristin heard her mother and father talking from her bed. Things were sounding excited, and a little frustrated. Kristin glanced at the clock. It was 8:30. She bolted out of the bed and made a mad dash for the bathroom.

"Mama, I have dress, hair and make-up appointments starting at 9:45!" she yelled. The very quick, but very hot shower felt nice. She mentally thanked Maureen for insisting they do all the needed shaving the day before, just in case they overslept. Within 10 minutes, she was towel-drying her hair and pulling on a robe.

"Kristi, Tommy just called. There are two limos down stairs. One for me and you, and one for your father. How soon can you be dressed?"

"Three minutes." Kristin pulled on a bra and a blouse, slipped into panties and her favorite skirt, stepped into her shoes and jacket and was in the living room before her mother could finish getting her watch and rings on. "Or less."

"That was a quick change," Jeannie gasped.

"I have 3 costume changes during my show, the longest one of them has less than 5 minutes, so its not my fastest by far." Kristin looked around her apartment. It wasn't at all different than it was a few days earlier, but the feel was so much so that she almost didn't recognise the place.

"Kristi?" Her mother called. "Honey, what's the matter?"

"It's just......the next time I come in here, I'll be married. This is just a lot to take in, is all."

"Are you sure you want to?"

Kristin thought about it. She thought about Maureen; her smile, her laugh, how her jaw set when she was annoyed, how Maureen's arms felt around her. She thought about how her heart raced when Maureen kissed her, how her breath caught when Maureen did something cute, how much it hurt to see Maureen cry. She thought about what her life would be like if these moments were gone. No arms holding her at night, or worse; someone else's arms. There would be no music playing when she came home, or worse; someone else's music. Kristin knew these were just short little moments in her life, but they made her life so wonderful.

"I don't want to marry her because I can live with her, Mama. I want to marry her because I don't know if I could live without her."


	21. Chapter 21

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

* * *

Kristin slid into the limo and squealed. The man sitting across from her grinned and offered her a hand. As her mother got in, Kristin bound into the arms of the man, with a Cheshire-cat smile.

"You didn't think I'd miss your perfect day, now did you, Little One?" the man asked, before kissing her forehead.

"Harrison!"

"Ricky called me up this morning, and someone named Tommy sent the limo to me first, so I could surprise you. So, my lovely best friend, who's the lucky guy?" he asked. Jeannie coughed.

"Well, Mo is my best friend, the most kind person you would ever meet, and we're so in-love that we couldn't wait another day to be married." Jeannie bit the inside of her cheek. Kristi and Harry met in college, and had moved to New York together. Harrison had since come out as gay, moved all over the country, and was almost impossible to really talk to.

"Oh, too bad he's taken. He sounds like my type!" Kristin grinned and scooted off her old friend's lap. He was also too busy for e-mail, apparently.

"You've been way out of the loop. Mo is short for Maureen." Harrison gasped. "If you checked your e mail once in a blue moon, you'd know that."

"When did you-" he squeaked. "Who.....Kristi!"

"We met a year ago today, and I fell in-love with her slowly over time. I just found myself needing her in every part of my life, Harry. She's......my everything. We started dating in April, but weren't really serious until June, and I asked her to marry me in August. We were planning on a summer wedding, but yesterday, we decided that we couldn't wait any more. We needed to be married, nothing else could be more right than us getting married in the eyes of God. Harrison, she's my world." Harrison hugged the crying woman tightly.

"Oh, Sweetie, I'm so happy for you!"

"The whole lesbian thing's no issue, Harrison?" Jeannie asked. Kristin and Harrison turned to stare at her. "I mean, you two are kind of sweet together.

"Mama Jeannie," Harrison started. "My boyfriend would have as big of a problem as her girlfriend."

"Oh....OH!"

"Harrison and I dated for a very short time, Mama. We just weren't right. He's my best friend, but we were never meant to be more." Harrison nodded and tucked her into a hug. "I'm his Little One, and he's my Tall Person."

"My mother hated that we were spending so much time together in college, remember?" Kristin laughed. "I told her that if you were so brave as to try to knock me down and take advantage, I'd step on you." The two laughed harder as Kristin swatted his arm.

"So what needs to get done, Kristi?" Jeannie asked.

"Its not as busy as yesterday, that's for darn sure. Yesterday, we talked to the church and got everything set up for today, picked out dresses, set up emergency hair and make-up appointments, got family flown in, Tommy had tuxes ordered for everyone who needed one, flowers were ordered, and tailors have been working for the last twenty or so hours getting everything perfect. Tommy Ballentine is my personal hero of the day. He and Aldo did so much for us."

"Today will be wonderful! But it sounds like a very last minute thing.....I mean I know everything was last minute, but did you just decide yesterday?" Kristin stared for a second. "Oh. You did."

Kristin just grinned.

* * *

If you had asked Maureen Johnson at any other time how she felt about marrying Kristin Yancy, she would have smiled, her eyes would have glassed over, and some overly-romantic something would have come out in a Life-time moment. However, ten minuted before the ceremony was to begin, she was of the opnion that perhaps she was not good enough, or that Kristin was playing some kind of prank on her. Or even that God was.

Sasha had been sent out along with Nancy, Allie and Kassidy. She was all nerves. Kristin wasn't a whole lot better, but Maureen was nearly climbing the walls. Her hair and make-up were perfect, her dress needed a few quick tugs and a stich or two, and she was perfect. Tommy had really come through for the couple. He dropped quite a bit of money and called in favors.

"Maureen?" Faith called into the room.

"It's not time already, is it?"

"No. I just wanted to talk to you." Maureen waved her in. "You're as nervous as Aunt Kristi. She's scared you won't go through with it."

"I think I may throw up."

"Sit down, shut up and listen," Faith said in a very calm, but firm tone. Oh, there was no doubt that she was raised with Kristin. "I was wrong, in October. I hurt you and Aunt Kristi, and I'm sorry. You two make each other so happy. You two make each other complete. I've never seen two people so perfect for each other, and I'm proud to be your neice."

"What if I screw this up?"

"Don't."

"It is not that easy, Faith."

"Of course it is!" she said, sitting next to Maureen. "Marriage is as simple as this: 1. Treat her with love and respect at all times. 2. Everything that is yours, is now also hers, and vice versa. 3. Honor her for who she is and who she wants to become. You can't change her past, or take control of her future, but you can honor it. I know she honors yours pretty damn well."

"She does."

"Do you love her?"

"With all of my heart.

"She loves you," Faith informed her. "Now what has you scared?"

"That she'll see my flaws and decide that I'm not right for her. Or she'll meet someone who doesn't cling to the past with everything." Faith thought for a moment.

"She's lived with you, and she has met your mother. No one is so flawed as they are when compared to a good mother. She stayed." Maureen laughed. "Go become my Aunt Maureen. Its time."

"You're okay with this now?" Faith nodded and Maureen hugged her. "I'm glad you're here."

Maureen stepped out of the room with Faith, who ran ahead to tell Kristin it was time. Eddie offered an arm to his daughter, and lead her to where they would wait to meet up with Kristin and her father. She took a deep breath and waited.

When Kristin turned the corner from her side, her father on her arm, the two women smiled. Eddie and Rick Sr. saw the love that passed with such a small change in expressions. The two men lead their daughters as sthe music started to meet in the isle. The four continued up the isle, while the few guests stood. Allison and Anna-Grace were flower girls, dropping red and white flower petels, and Paul and Micah carried the rings.

Benny and Allison sat with Maureen's parents, along with Maureen's friends from work and theater. Harrison sat with Santa, Aldo, Jack, Tyrique and Tommy on Kristin's side, and her family took up the rest of the people. Some of her theater friends were still in town, and came, but not many. It was small and perfect.

"Good afternoon, Friends and Loved ones!" Father Carson said, as everyone sat. "Let us open with a blessing. Dear Father in Heaven. Thank you for this beautiful snowy day to join these two women in union. Please bless them and their families for a long life together, strength for the hard time, and enough love to share with all around them. Please bless them with health, and with strength for the times when they are not well. We ask these things in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

"Amen," echoed back.

"Weddings are my favorite event to be a part of. Its the joining of two lives, in to one family. Would the families of the two brides please stand?" As soon as everyone was on their feet, the man smiled. "Kristin and Maureen are you daughters, sister, and aunts. As I join them together, you shall be joined into the union as well, the union of these two will need your support and your understanding. As they face trials, you, as their loved ones will be called upon as shoulders to cry on, ears to listen, and minds to help find solutions, as they have been for you. Who gives these women to one another?"

"Her mother and I do," Eddie said. Rick Sr. repeated the phrase and the two men joined their families and everyone sat.

"Kristin and Maureen," he continued. "Have chosen you to share in the joy of their lives, to share in their love, and to share in their joy. The love that these women share is so true and runs so deeply, that the only way they can express it is to share it with everyone in this room. And they have chosen to vow to spend their lives with only each other, in the eyes of God. To symbolize this union, they has chosen to give one another rings. Rings. A perfect circle. No beginning and no end. Much like God's love, and much like their love for one another. When one falls in-love, its hard to pin-point when they did." He knelt down to the boys. "Can you two please place the rings on my Bible?" The boys did and the Father stood up again. "Your girls have their own vows to exchange."

"Maureen," Kristin started. "You are my light, my hope, my love, my soul, my head ache, my best friend, my better half, and as I place this ring on your finger, it will be a symbol to everyone that you are spoken for, by a feisty short blonde who adores you. I spent my life searching for something that I needed to feel whole. I thought it was my own selfish heart that I needed to make whole. But when I met you, it was you that I was searching for, but not for myself. I needed to find you for you. I needed to give love more than receive it. I needed to give support more than I needed it for myself. It wasn't until I gave you everything I thought I needed that I could feel whole. As I give you this ring, I promise you, and I promise God that you will be my only love from this day forward." By the end of her vows, both women were crying openly. Kristin took the larger ring from the book and slipped it onto Maureen's finger.

"I thought I knew how to love, and I thought I knew what it was," Maureen said, sniffling. "I spent years shutting out anyone and everyone I cared about, until I met you. You came into my life, broke down the door, and practically blew up the walls that I had built to protect myself. Before I knew I was broken, you taught me that I never had to be alone again. Even when you weren't there, I was never alone; your love will always be with me, and will always be what keeps me going. You gave me back life when I thought there was so little left to live for. Today, I promise you my love, my heart, my everything. and I promise you, and I promise God that you will be my only love from this day forward," she whimpered. She put the second ring on Kristin's finger.

"Kristin and Maureen," the Father said. "I now pronounce you joined. You may kiss the bride."

Maureen cupped Kristin's cheek and gently urged her closer, and their lips met. As it usually did, the kiss made Kristin's heart race, and Maureen's hands tremble slightly. As they parted, the families cheered and clapped.

"May I present, Mrs. and Mrs. Johnson!"

* * *

Kristin felt her eyes flutter opened. Her day, so far, seemed to be starting as it had two days ago; she was warm, naked, and someone was curled up around her back, holding her tightly. Kristin smiled as her ring clicked against Maureen's. It was not like any other day, and it never would start the same.

It was her first married morning.

"Maureen?" she murmured. "Mo, wake up, my love."

"No," Maureen whimpered. Kristin turned in her arms.

"We have to escort people to the air port, and we have a New Year's party to get to." Maureen shook her head and pulled the blankets over the two of them, eyes still closed.

"I don't want to open my eyes yet."

"Why not?"

"Because, this wonderful dream will end. Yesterday will not have happened, and I'll be alone." Kristin snuggled closer.

"How about if I promise that I'll be right here when you open your eyes?" Maureen shook her head, frowning. She wasn't joking. She was actually scared. "Mo-"

"I keep having this dream that everyone is still alive and you meet them and you're a part of that life. And when I wake up, they're gone, you're on tour, and I'm alone." Kristin played with Maureen's hair and held her while she cried. "I missed them yesterday, Kristi. I dreamed our wedding had six extra guests, and Angel was there, cheering the loudest for us, and your mother was afraid of her-"

"Maureen, they were there. They'll be with you forever, and Angel was there, cheer us on, louder than anyone. Only we couldn't hear her, because she's too high up." Maureen opened her eyes. "I'm still here."

"When will it get easier?"

"It won't."

"That's comforting." Kristin kissed Maureen's head.

"I know you're hurting, my love, and I will always be here to help you through 'll always.....always be a major part of your life, and I will not take that away from you, nor will I tell you that its smaller than it actually is." Maureen sighed. "Mo, I know you love me, and I know you're in-love with me. You will always love them. I will always love Beau, and Harrison. But, you're my wife. I'm yours. Nothing else matters right now. All that matters is that we're not alone, Maureen."

"Do you remember last year?" Kristin smiled.

"One year ago today, you were staring at the sunrise from my favorite nook," Kristin supplied. "And I told you that you never had to be alone again."

"Thank you, Kristi, for keeping your word." Kristin kissed Maureen deeply.

"Now, we're a young married couple-"

"With your parents in the next room."

"We'll be quiet," Kristin whispered.

"I'm not sure if I can be that quiet-" Maureen started and the two broke into giggles. Before they could get too loud, Kristin leaned in and kissed her wife. Maureen snaked a hand over her chest and groped at her breast.

"Maureen!" she gasped, leaning into the touch.

"Do you want me to stop?" she teased.

"For the love of God- no!" Kristin laughed. She ran her hands up Maureen's sides, and pushed her onto her back. "I need you, Maureen."

* * *

Jeannie was the type of person who woke up early on most days. Noise always kept her up. Her husband could sleep through a tornado, but she would be up if a fly got too close.

"-Maureen," came a soft gasp from the next room. Jeannie felt a blush creeping up.

"-want me to stop?" Maureen's voice filtered in. Jeannie put a pillow over her head.

"-No!" came her daughter's voice with a laugh. Jeannie felt sick to her stomach. "-Need you, Mo."

She buried her head in a second pillow, trying desperately not to hear her daughter having sex, knowing full well that the gasps, moans, sighs, and murmurs she could still hear were. It was not the fact that her daughter was with a woman as much as she felt as though she were invading the young couple's personal life. When she heard Maureen cry out, she had heard more than enough.

"Richard, it is such a lovely morning. I'm going for a walk," she said, knowing full well he couldn't hear her, but Kristin would be able to. A few expletives escaped from Maureen before Kristin could hush her.


	22. Chapter 22

Title: Will It Be Me?

Author: Megan Faye

Rated: Teen/R

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or NBC's Kristin. And yes, I know that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel aren't sleeping together, and they never have or will. This is fanfiction only!

* * *

"I can not believe your mother heard us," Maureen groaned as the two fell onto the couch. "God, she probably hates me now."

"She loves you." Kristin tucked herself into Maureen's arms and smiled to herself.

"Kristin?"

"Hmm?"

"How'd we get here?"

"A cab, Maureen." Kristin teased.

"Last year on New Year's Eve, I woke up in your apartment, wondering if I could let you in. I was scared that you'd leave when you found out how nuts I was last year." Maureen tilted Kristin's head up at her chin, ran her finger tips over her soft lips and kissed Kristin's forehead. "I know when I fell in-love with you."

"When?"

"When you showed up on my door-step 5 minutes after midnight on New Year's last year. You didn't want to be alone anymore either."

"Y'know when I fell in-love with you, Maureen?"

"When?"

"I fell in-love with you when you told me your name. 'Maureen. Maureen Johnson.' You said it so softly, like you were afraid it would break if you said it to loudly. I wanted to hug you right then.....and when I started to realize that I wanted more than just to be your friend, when it hit me that I was in-love with you, its like that moment was the first that I felt that pull toward you."

"When did you realize it? That you were in-love?"

"Loaded question. When I stayed with you, when I was sick, I felt so at home with you there that when I went home, it was painfull. I wanted to stay. I called you over one night, and you were there so quickly," Kristin said. Maureen smiled and kissed her wife. "I knew at that moment that I loved you. You held me, and I woke up in your arms. I woke feeling safe and loved. And then you kissed me, and I knew. It scared the hell out of me, but I knew I loved you."

"It scared me, too." Maureen suddenly became shy. "I feel....I feel like I'm dreaming. Like this last year has been one amazing dream, and when I wake up, you'll be gone."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we go, as long as we go together. If we need to move to LA for your work, I'll pack up tonight."

"What about your family?"

"You are my family, Kristin." Kristin kissed her and smiled. "Its been a really good year, Kristi," Maureen whispered.

"Know how I measure it?"

"How?"

"In hellos, in new loves, first kisses and falling in-love. In 'I do's.' In first steps, in hearing good news. Five-hundred-twenty-five-thousand, six hundred minutes. How do you measure a year?" Kristin whispered. Maureen's eyes pooled with tears as she spoke, knowing it was not part of the song, but a new verse, just for her.

"Love," Maureen said. "We measure our year in love." Kristin kissed her wife's fingers gently. "Will you sing to me, Kristi?"

"Sure." Maureen smiled and closed her eyes. "_When you start falling, who's gonna catch ya? I'm willing to bet ya it will be me. Who's gonna love ya like there's no other? Search and discover it will be me_."

* * *

Thanks for reading. I may try for a sequal, but my time is spent in music class now. I 3 4/4 school of music!!! If you are in eastern washington, check it out!!!


End file.
